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  1. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    15
    thanks so much everyone! I spoke to my sis in-law about this, and realised that if i am able to just look at things realistically and relax a bit more, what will be will be. I am soooo lucky in that I have a big wonderful support network of family and friends, i reckon my biggest fear to overcome is myself... ie my fear of not being a good enough mum, all those gulit issues i reckon we all deal with, etc! And my fear of relapse (depression'/panic disorder) but then i think...hey i've lived with this already and if i get sick, ijust have to ask for help! I think I am trying to be more logical and reason stuff oput before making a final decision...... but thank you all so much for your wonderful words of support and good will, it really is a fantastic thing that us girls can all support each other from opposite ends of the planet! I send you all the best thoughts and wishes to you and your beautiful children!
    Love Emmie

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  3. #12
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    78
    Emmie, that sounds like me exactly, right down to the difficult first childbirth and depression.

    The second time was different. I had a better OBGYN, went to a better hospital, and absolutely refused to accept any of the shabby treatment I took my first time around when I was trying to be a "good little patient". I also felt more confident that I knew what I was doing and the self-doubt was practically nonexistent. I didn't listen to my mother, and disregarded any unsolicited advice, in one ear, and right back out the other with a pleasant little smile. My baby!

    I still wasn't sure I wanted a second child even after I knew one was on the way, but by the time he was done cooking, I was ready. I wouldn't call it easy (a newborn never is) but it was comfortable and I felt so natural. The experience kind of blew away the cloud that had been hanging over the memory of the birth of my daughter.

    There was plenty of love for both. You love each subsequent child as much as the first, but for the different little people that they are.

    And I just have to add that there's nothing wrong with stopping at one if one is your number.

  4. #13
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    3
    I got pregnant when my 1st was 9 months old. It was a shock- still nursing full time plus being on the pill! I was upset and terribly guilty. Things got better with therapy but then he was born and was a screamer. I have only heard a few other mothers admit to anything like this, but I did not love him right away. I missed my "baby". I resented him. I didn't bond, even with constant nursing. And I was bitter, depressed, and hated myself. We even talked about adoption. To remember this today makes me physically ill. He is 2 and a half and I feel no less for him than my daughter- it just took me longer to bond, and that's ok. It happens sometimes and I have forgiven myself. It took about a year to not have any doubts that having him was a mistake. I am so thankful for him- he is my sweet son and I love him endlessly.

  5. #14
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    15
    fancymouse.... I just have to say how brave you are, to admit your feelings and say out loud what i reckon alot of people secretly think themselves...good on you mate! Too many of us forget that Mums all have their own feelings and identities too, and there's way too many unrealisitic expectations of us!

  6. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    822
    Oh..you'll have MORE than enough lovin' to go around! Your 2nd will most likely be so different from your 1st in personality, that you'll really appreciate each of their unique little selves. I ended up w/ a 7 yr. span b/t my boys, so I was totally pumped up for having my 2nd one.....and luckily they like each other- most of the time!!!

  7. #16
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    12
    nice thread!

  8. #17
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    25
    Quote Originally Posted by Kay Burton View Post
    nice thread!
    Nice thread indeed.

    Quote Originally Posted by fancymouse View Post
    I got pregnant when my 1st was 9 months old. It was a shock- still nursing full time plus being on the pill! I was upset and terribly guilty. Things got better with therapy but then he was born and was a screamer. I have only heard a few other mothers admit to anything like this, but I did not love him right away. I missed my "baby". I resented him. I didn't bond, even with constant nursing. And I was bitter, depressed, and hated myself. We even talked about adoption. To remember this today makes me physically ill. He is 2 and a half and I feel no less for him than my daughter- it just took me longer to bond, and that's ok. It happens sometimes and I have forgiven myself. It took about a year to not have any doubts that having him was a mistake. I am so thankful for him- he is my sweet son and I love him endlessly.
    Just wanted to ask if you're still around have you ever used any ovulation methods? If so can you recommend me one? I'm currently reading about those on Easytobemom because I find to find a perfect solution for tracking my ovulation and this periods. It should be better than tracking apps I think.

  9. #18
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    38
    I don’t remember exactly when, but for more than 6 months my husband found an article about family tracking apps and we decided that it would be convenient to use for us, as I or my husband can see who is closer to the school to bring the children home or who can pick up children from the park now. I can also see that my husband is near the supermarket and write him a shopping list so that I don't go across the city. We use this application in order to find out each other’s route and give small tasks if my family member isn't far from the place I need to visit. It works well and I’m sure that my children can always press the button and I or my husband can quickly respond and help the child. I believe that such applications are very useful, but there are people who see this as hyper-custody and control. It seems to me that you need to understand that you can do everything to ensure that your loved ones are safe, but you don't need to cross certain boundaries.

  10. #19
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    11
    congrats

  11. #20
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    11
    you are a lucky mother


 
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