View Poll Results: my mother and i have a...

Voters
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  • great relationship, we're best friends!

    31 34.44%
  • we disagree but we can agree to do so in a civil manner.

    31 34.44%
  • love/hate... we love eachother but hate the other's opinions and fight constantly.

    15 16.67%
  • non-existent relationship, we haven't spoken for days/months/years.

    13 14.44%
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Results 21 to 30 of 42
  1. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    down by the bay
    Posts
    767
    Heh, my mom sobered up about 15 years ago and she *still* blames the world for her problems.

    But I guess I should just be happy she's not showing the more dangerous symptoms of the greater problem, right?

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  3. #22
    Guest
    Good for her for being sober! That takes so much strength and commitment. You're right - it's good that she is no longer damaging her body with the alcohol.

  4. #23
    Guest
    By the way - I think this thread would be a bit more intense if we added the "mother-in-law" to the discussion. Maybe that's best left untouched...

  5. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Jersey
    Posts
    202
    My mother had me when she was 40, so the age difference is big, but I must tell anyone who is considering having a child at a "later" age to go for it, because older parents can be great parents.

    My mom is still kind of immature, though, so we get along super well, except when she nags me, but that's natural.

  6. #25
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,563
    Quote Originally Posted by julieflomom
    By the way - I think this thread would be a bit more intense if we added the "mother-in-law" to the discussion. Maybe that's best left untouched...
    While my relationship with my mother is non-existent, I adore my mother-in-law. She's a wonderful, caring, and special person. If I ever had children she would be my role model for how to be a good parent, she sets a wonderful example while allowing her children to be individuals. My husband and his sister always know that she just wants them to be happy in whatever they do.

  7. #26
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    94
    You know, I have to say that when I see a mother and daughter that have a good relationship, or a mother that really cares for her children, I can't help but be a bit jealous.

    During the entire time my younger sister and I were growing up, then well into our twenties, my mother suffered from severe depression. She didn't get help for it until about 7 years ago. Living with a person with depression, who won't get help, is a bit like living with an alcoholic. Everything wrong in their life is everyone else's fault, they can't stand to see other people happy or excited, or else they just aren't 'there'. And the meanness, oh lord, just that insecure meanness that happens, that was the worst. So my sis and I felt a bit orphaned by my mom, even though she was 'there'. Luckily for us, we have a wonderful father who tried his best to raise us and make sure we felt loved and wanted.

    The worst part is that now that my mom is feeling better (medication-take that Tom Cruise), she's taken to re-writing history in her head. Kinda like the dry-drunk thing that kindarana was talking about, just because they are 'better' doesn't mean they haven't started to review their lives and apologize for the damage they did. My mom thinks that she never hurt us or was mean, that she just suffered this terrible disease and all her problems are still everyone else's fault. Sigh. Thank god for therapy, and the advice that you can't get blood from a stone. I've been lucky to find some wonderful women in my life, who are excellent life mentors for me. Kinda mommy replacements. But still, I don't think there's anything that completely heals that pain of having a mother that didn't care or didn't really love or want you. I keep reading these posts, and they just make me cry, cause I know how much it still hurts. The mother-child bond is just one of those primal things that we all need to work, and when it doesn't, it's a primal hurt. Of course, hopefully, it makes us all better mommies if the time comes for that.

    I'm glad this thread is here, cause it seems that a lot of the women here suffered under the hands of bad moms, so it's good to know we're not alone. Makes me wonder if that helps to drive us in our creativity, you know, the whole "suffering artist" thing.

  8. #27
    Guest
    Alteredtome, you read my mind when you said, "hopefully, it makes us all better mommies if the time comes for that. " I had my first child - a daughter, 8 months ago. She is my little sunshine, and I've never loved anyone like I lov her. I want to do my absolute best for her. But I know that I will make mistakes like everyone else. I just pray that she grows up feeling secure in my love for her.

  9. #28
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    50
    i find that the older i get, the better my mom & i get along. i now know when to keep my mouth shut. as a teenager, we had a lot of family issues, and she took it out on me. i hated her then. now my fi & i are planning on building a house just down the street from my parents & my mom just made my kicka$$ wedding gown.

  10. #29
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    52
    well me and my mom fight and it gets pretty intence but then I'll make a funny face or say something outrageous and we'll both burst out laughing. I'm also very honest with my mom even if it's not about something nice to talk about and she will pretend it dosen't scare or bother her but I no it does.

  11. #30
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    11
    My mom & I absolutely cannot live under the same roof. We are too much alike, we just argued all of the time. We have become close now that we are living seperately. There are times when we fight, but that usually has to do with my sister, who I do not get along with. My mom & I are even in the same profession (different cities, though).
    In fact, my mom just recently taught me how to knit, sew, and do other crafty things!


 
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