View Poll Results: my mother and i have a...

Voters
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  • great relationship, we're best friends!

    31 34.83%
  • we disagree but we can agree to do so in a civil manner.

    31 34.83%
  • love/hate... we love eachother but hate the other's opinions and fight constantly.

    14 15.73%
  • non-existent relationship, we haven't spoken for days/months/years.

    13 14.61%
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  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Feb 2005
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    AL
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    135

    relationship with your mother...

    i don't know if i am posting this in the right forum, but i figured it was somewhat related to happy homes, ey?

    ok, so for all of you out there who no longer live at home with your mothers... (i only specify not living at home, because i know sometimes living under the same roof as your mom makes things a billion times more tense)
    what kind of relatinship do you have with her?

    it seems like no matter what my mother and i still argue/disagree/stop speaking about the SILLIEST things and i haven't lived at home for 7 years!
    i kind of want to see if this is the case with other mother/daughter relationships or if anyone has any advice to give on how to improve such a relationship... we're almost exactly alike, so that makes it a lot harder!

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  3. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    777
    We're visiting my family now so I was ever so excited to see this poll but I couldn't check one, it's so tough to define my relationship with my mom. If there was a box that read, "She embarasses me, annoys the hell out of me and I'm terrified I'll become her" I would have checked that one with a GIANT X.

  4. #3
    Member
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    Jun 2005
    Location
    Turlock, CA
    Posts
    38
    My mom really is my best friend. If she is bugging me I'll tell her, and she does the same to me. But it was a long road to this place if ya know what I mean!

  5. #4
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2004
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    92,999,999 miles from the sun & counting
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    The poll doesn't really have an option for my relationship with my mother.

    We're not exactly "best friends", but I will say that the more I learn about other people's parents, the more I appreciate my own. I really lucked out with both of mine. My dad has always been my hero - but I've realized over the years that my mom is pretty darn cool too.

    My mom and I are just very different from each other. She's very social, outgoing - the kind of girl who was homecoming queen (really) and the most beautiful and popular likely-to-succeed all through school and her adult life as well. During my childhood she was involved in all sorts of volunteer activities, both with us kids and in professional and charity organizations. She loves to work long hours in her many areas of talent and generally be all things to all people...and I'm pretty much the opposite of all that. Growing up I saw her as an impossible role model to live up to.

    As I get older and see her less often (and as she's slowed down and started saying "no" to some demands on her time), I can see more of the things we have in common, things I learned from her. Of course all the art and craft interest and knowledge goes without saying. I inherited her language ability too, and her dorky sense of humor.

    If I'd just met my mother, I'd probably never seek her out as a friend - but knowing her, she'd probably become my friend anyway because that's how she is with everyone. And since we're related, I'm glad we're as close as we are.

  6. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    822
    My mom and I get along quite well together. But she'll still say things that make me crazy! LIke telling me that I "can't" have another child! Ummmm...MOM! I'm 40 yrs. old, it's NOT your decision!! LMAO!! She worries because I'm "older", because I have Grave's disease, because I have a heart murmur. SIGH!!!

  7. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    down by the bay
    Posts
    767
    Somedays I swear I'm still going through puberty... my mother drives me *nuts* and, like Selah, I'm scared to death I'll turn out to be a golddigging self-absorbed princess like her.

    Let's just say my boyfriend has said, "I'm surprised you still talk to her," because he knows how crazy she is - and how crazy she drives me.

  8. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    375
    I wouldn't want my mom to be my "best friend." She's my mom. She should have her own best friend and I should have my own.

    We argued every single day for years when I was 12 and 13. To the point where it was a record if we went three days w/o one. My dad used to get so mad, and it was very frustrating.
    She still bugs me sometimes because she exagerates, and tends to make things up, and stuff. But she's also very generous, and nice, and she's my mom, so I love her.
    We don't really argue much. When she tries to start stuff with me, I don't fall into the trap, which makes her even more angry, but I don't get caught up in fighting with her. It's weird to be the calm one in an argument with someone who is older than you.

  9. #8
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2004
    Location
    Wisconsin
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    1,563
    Non-existent. It started with her forcing me to choose sides in the divorce and has led me to reevaluate my childhood in general. Let's just say that when she pulls the guilt trip question "Was I bad mother?" I can honestly say "yes."

  10. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    404
    I have a pretty good relationship w/ my mom. I'm an only child, so all three of us were close as I was growing up. We disagree, but we don't fight. We just let it go.

    There are sometimes when I can't stand the woman though...lol. But that's when she's in a bad mood and is bothered and irritable. It's not her, it's just the mood she's in or the day she's had. I just leave her alone for a while. :)

  11. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    State College, PA
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    212
    There wasn't really an option for me to choose accurately. My mom and I used to be best friends, I'd say, but ever since I had my second baby, something has changed. I've even been in therapy about it. She will bend over backwards for my sister, it seems, yet I can't get her to meet me for lunch. Strange, very strange, for a woman who was so bent on treating my sister and me equally!

    I did have a talk with her a couple months ago when I went back home to visit. I didn't get a lot of satisfaction out of the conversation other than at least she knew my feelings on the subject. She denied saying or doing many of the things that have hurt me over the past few years, and so there was not an apology. I didn't really expect one, but still...


 
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