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  1. #11
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2005
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    283
    He's 450lbs and hitting your child??? WOA...out, now.

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  3. #12
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2005
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    I would definitely give him one DAY to start looking for a job and a week to two to get one (depending on your opinion of how hard he's trying - sometimes you just can't help it if people won't hire you).

    I wouldn't even give him a minute to stop hurting your kids.

    21 years old and acting like this? WTF? He needs some harsh reality. The longer it goes on like this, the harder it is going to be for him to learn that the world doesn't work like that.

    My sis-in-law is like that. She's 18, lives with my brother in law (her brother). Stays out until 3am every night, finally got a job at Michael's but blew her entire paycheck in less than a day. THEN she quit her job. My husband's mom moved a couple of counties away, and sis-in-law decided not to go. I nearly begged my husband to let her live with us because I KNEW this would happen. I even had a plan on how to help her straighten her life out, she's had NO direction from her mother. But she ended up living with her other brother because he has more room in his apt. I am so afraid for her. I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping she comes out on the other side of this wild streak okay.

  4. #13
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    2

    slaker nephew

    question? why is a 21 yr old still living with his mum?and what did he do to get dumped on you?as your preggers i'd definately nag like hell to get that fence sitter of a husband to do something,it is his nephew and his sister obviously expects that her bro can take this " boy" and turn him into a man.
    you are going to be even more unable to handle the sitch with ababy because you will be wrecked after and with all the stress everyone will be unhappy , especially you.it's unfair to dump a problem kid on family it always ends badly, i know from experience. get your husband to send nepheepoo home to his mother, it's her mess let her clean it up.

  5. #14
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    21
    OMG... thanks everyone for the great advice! Right now, I'm so angry at this child (because, after all, that IS what he is acting like!) that I could scream.

    I have a chore chart that has a list of chores my two older ones and my hubby's nephew have to do. He refused to take the garbage can to the curb and back (being garbage day and all) and I called him on it. Basically, he's like, "whatever, bitch" and I told him if all he wanted to do is sleep until noon and play on the computer until 3 AM, he can do it at his mom's house. Then I told him he had his two week period to straighten up or pack, and he acts as if I've said nothing at all!

    Tonight, my hubby (tired or not) HAS to talk to him or I might end up calling the cops to escort him out, period, end of it. Thank you ALL for giving this girls balls!

  6. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    375
    Yay! Good for you!

  7. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    404
    Oh, I forgot to add this to my post...and glad you did it anyway. But I was hoping you wouldn't just completely hand it over to your husband. From the way you describe him, he doesn't sound like he respects you...which could mean he doesn't respect women period.

    Not saying anything at all to him and having your husband confront him wouldn't help that little aspect of the situation.

    And not to take his side...but I know a LOT of times teenagers (and yeah, he's 21, but he's acting 13) will act like "Whatever" just because they're confronted with something they're doing wrong. They ARE listening, but they try to act like they don't care. I did it when I was younger :) So maybe it won't be enough for him to change, but he could really understand what you're saying, he just feels like he has to act like he doesn't care.

  8. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    71
    Quote Originally Posted by lu-lu-gee
    Basically, he's like, "whatever, bitch" and I told him if all he wanted to do is sleep until noon and play on the computer until 3 AM, he can do it at his mom's house. Then I told him he had his two week period to straighten up or pack, and he acts as if I've said nothing at all!
    Obviously he is calling you on this. Live up to your end of the ultimatum by telling your husband to call his sister and get the wanker the hell out of your house...and if hubby refuses....I'd find someplace else to live for a while with the kids. :) Let HIM be Baby Huey's mama.

  9. #18
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    71
    Hellooooooo Lulu! Are you out there? How are things going?

    You want us to come over and knock some sense into him? :)

  10. #19
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    21
    Yes, please, freisss!!! Baseball bats, torches, whatever...Just kidding (kinda)!

    He had a job interview the day after I set the ultimatum (at a toy store, big money there), got the job, and was promptly fired THREE DAYS LATER! I kid you not. Why? Because he was a stocker and refused to climb up on a ladder. Weight issues or fear of heights, i don't know. But I was pissed!! Worst part is, he lied to his mama and said he quit to look for something better. Of course, he has been lying about all kinds of good stuff (like telling me he's still on paxil when I haven't seen him pop a pill the entire time he's been here, his weight- he insists he's only 350 lbs HAHAHA, actually looking for a job, etc.) so of courses he's going to lie to Mama.

    Of course, Hubby knew about all this, yet STILL insisted on letting Baby Huey (thanxs, friess, it fits him, too) stay w/ us. Hubby's reasoning was that his darling nephew has no options in his hometown, and that he really IS trying. Hubby works about 10 hrs/day and apparantly had no idea what is going on in the house. Until...

    Hubby and I were doing the bills Saturday. The grocery bill has been doubled (takes a lot to keep 450 lbs happy), the nephew's b-day was last week and therefore Hubby and I shelled out about $150 total for dinner and a gift for him, and now we have more credit card debt than we have money in the bank. Let's just say, Hubby has now seen it my way.

    HE sat his nephew down Saturday, told him that he HAS to go job hunting, HAS to look somewhere besides places he can get a discount on toys, and HAS to contribute to the household because of the added expense of his being there. Funny how it took finances to make his decision, but hey, whatever it takes.

    Sorry this is so winded... and it took so long to update ya. Question is, should I tack on, say an extra month deadline for him to get this done, even behind Hubby's back? I want to, but I mentioned it to Hubby, and he's like, "oh, no, it won't be necessary, he'll come around", the same old poop. Thanx!!

    Lulu

  11. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    georgia
    Posts
    125
    It's in your husband's court now - you did all you could - and tacking on an extra month will only prolong your dissatisfaction with the situation, and lessen the urgency on the nephew. keep it as it is - at least hubbie's on your side now ;)


 
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