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  1. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    los angeles county, CA
    Posts
    566
    Ohmigawd. So what happened????

    Nosy, er, inquiring minds want to know!!!!

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  3. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    187
    Personally, the first time the kid called me "bitch," I'd kick him to the curb so fast he'd bounce, no matter whose family member he is. It's your house, and you don't have to take abuse, nor do your kids.

  4. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    94
    Hey Ms. Lulu-

    Is he gone yet? What's going on? We all just want to make sure you and your family are ok.

  5. #24
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    21
    Oooops! Sorry about that- busy doing NaNoWriMo (yay crap!)

    Anyway, things are improving a great deal. Dear Nephew has a job now. Even though it's part time, the hours are horendous, and it's seasonal, it's still a job. Until a week ago, however, he refused to do anything around the house at all. His excuse? He's working. Yeah, two days a week at about 15 hours per week. Plus, he started to bicker with my two older kids. The day he actually took my four year old's favorite stuffed dolphin and SAT ON IT (insert flat anchovy joke here) was the last straw.
    I sat him down the next day, and told him I was sick of raising a 22 yr. old and he needed to go back home to his mother. He started to cry, and basically said that if he went back, he wouldn't have anyone to push him to get a job, go to school, etc. Basically if he went back, he wouldn't have a life. Duh....

    We now have an agreement: after Jan. he has to get a new job (which means starting to look again in about two weeks), he will go to school and fill out all paperwork pertaining to financial aid (he's looking at three schools now), and he has to start acting like an adult. He and his mother have ben put on notice that if he screws up once, he's out on his ass. Things couldn't be any more peaceful around here. I get please, thank you, can I help with dishes, you name it.
    Now, he and I are both trying to get his mother to help him out with either school or getting a car. Of course, this lovely person is dragging her feet, until my nephew reminded her that even though he no longer lives there, she still has him as a deduction on her taxes. Now she's thinking about it!!

    Again, thanks for all the support and advice. let this be a lesson to all of you: if someone wants you to take in your sister/brother/cousin/niece/nephew/whatever, for whatever reason, just say no!!

  6. #25
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    georgia
    Posts
    125
    awesome!
    it's wonderful what putting up some boundaries can do :)

    and maybe your nephew will turn out to be a great asset to society because of you laying down the law...

    this is good news!

  7. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    438
    Only children aren't all monsters. This guy is a monster because his mother let him get away with stuff. Throw him out of your house, and do so with witnesses around- if he shoves anyone, have him arrested.

  8. #27
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Posts
    187
    I've weighed in on this before, I know, but I have been in this situation, and I really think anthrogirl is right. This kid should not be in your house. He has abused the privilege of living there in every conceivable way. He has been abusive to you and to your children. He has made it abundantly clear that he is not willing to abide by any of the ground rules you set down. Keeping him there is enabling him, not helping him. He needs to be kicked to the curb. It will do him as much good as it will you.


 
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