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  1. #41
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    161
    Elix, I completely understand. I still don't think I am the marrying kind. I never felt that I needed somone else (like the state or the church) involved in my relationship, and I thought that if we truly loved each other we certainly didn't need a "contract" to prove it, and I hated that we COULD do it but our friends in same-sex relationships didn't have that optioin. My husband and I would have lived happily ever after un-married if there wasn't the immigration thing (I'm Canadian). Since in a way we had no choice, we decided to make the best of it.

    That's why in the end we decided to get married on a tuesday, and went to the courthouse on Friday. In New York you need someone to be a witness so we brought a friend and gave him a disposable camera (although I kind of wanted to have to pay the cabbie extra to come in with us!). Then over a year later we found out my parents would be in town (from Vancouver, so it doesn't happen much) and decided to have a party. We took the family and close friends out to dinner and a tiny restaurant near our house, and then walked to the party at the williamsburg art and historical center. I hate being the center of attention so I got some performer friends (a magician, a whip act and a sword swallower) to help deflect a little for me. Everyone keeps telling us it was their favorite wedding ever, which I think is funny because it was just a party (maybe that's why?).
    For me it was good, because we did the courthouse thing for the paperwork (taxes and immigration), and then a party which appeased everyone else (no more questions about when it was going to happen...) BUT we never actually had to stand in front of anyone and say vows (even the word vows makes my stomach clench).

    Getting the certificate and having a party has definitely not changed a thing between us (although we are thinking of buying a washer/dryer, that's sounds pretty married to me ;-) ) and I think it is because we did it our way and don't feel like we've had to force ourselves into someone else's mold. I guess that now that it's over, (the party was just in november) I am glad we did some kind of public announcement of our plans to stay together, and I like that bill collectors somehow take us more seriously now that I have a Mr. even though we are just a irresponsible as before!

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  3. #42
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    florida's nature coast
    Posts
    136

    hmm..i have an idea...

    if you're still in the same situation....if you guys want to get married then do it and do it on your own terms! it's YOUR marriage not your family's or anyone else's except you and your partner's...i've seen a couple of really super cool drive thru wedding chapel's in phoenix, arizona! ! i think that would be great..have your favourite tunes on...windows down, barefeet...doing whatever you want and just drive off into the sunset..just the 2 of you! and then send out some really cute cards announcing your exciting romantic news!!

  4. #43
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    brooklyn
    Posts
    600

    Re: hmm..i have an idea...

    Quote Originally Posted by appleseeds
    if you're still in the same situation....if you guys want to get married then do it and do it on your own terms! it's YOUR marriage not your family's or anyone else's except you and your partner's...i've seen a couple of really super cool drive thru wedding chapel's in phoenix, arizona! ! i think that would be great..have your favourite tunes on...windows down, barefeet...doing whatever you want and just drive off into the sunset..just the 2 of you! and then send out some really cute cards announcing your exciting romantic news!!
    god, that sounds like a fuckin dream. especially the barefeet part. :-)

  5. #44
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    milan, italy
    Posts
    57
    consider a drunken wedding. it can make an excellent party (drunk guests, drunk mama) and relax the bride!


 
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