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Thread: marital age

  1. #11
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    i think it also depends on a person's religious and cultural background. i know a few young married people who are from a culture where it is typical to be married by 20 or younger, and a couple of people who have arranged marriages. there are many cultures to whom marriage is a practical consideration, not a romantic one, and i don't think they are any more "wrong" about the idea than we are "right".

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  3. #12
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    when i was 20 i had been dating this guy for two years and we had been living together for about 6 months and my mother used to call me once a month that entire year saying " you know your father and i got married when i was 20 and we would have gotten married sooner if my parents would have approved, have you given it any thoughts?" and i would respond with " i'd rather be able to drink at my own wedding thank you." two years and a horrible break up later i realize that i don't think i was or will be any time soon near the kind of emotional readiness it will take to have a marriage work. but my parents are still verry much in love and disturbingly act like horney teenagers when i go to visit them. well thats just my little tidbit of info....

  4. #13
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    wish i'd waited. i was a month shy of 23. he was 25. we had been together for 4 years so it didn't seem early. at the time. we split up over a year ago up after nearly 7years - a total of 11 years together. i don't know how i feel about marriage anymore.... i think i'd rather have someone who chooses to stay with me every day rather than being legally bound to me. but who knows. maybe someday i won't be so jaded and i'll get all swept up and want that ceremonial declaration of commitment. since i left, i've been trying to make up for a lot of that time. 22 was too early for me. the whole thing - i pretty much gave up everything that i really wanted in life to be with him. then i started over completely at 30. but i'm not only having to build a life for myself, but one for my two preschool-age children.

  5. #14
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    I'm 25 and not married. I might want to get married some day, but that seems really far away right now (I have only been with my boy for six months anyway).

    Yeah, people change a lot...but hopefully we change throughout our lives, not just in the first 30 years or so, so I don't think there's any age that's better or worse for marriage than any other. It all depends on the people involved - if they're both aware that they will change, and willing to accept the other person's changes, it could work at any age. (Which is not to say that accepting the other's changes is the only thing required to get a marriage to work, or that all changes should be accepted, but I think there are people who assume the person they marry will be the same forever. In many cases it's probably not even changes as much as it's getting to know other sides of the person, sides that have been there all along though not as obvious. But I digress...)

  6. #15
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    Being in a committed realtionship/married is a compromise that continues all during the relationship. The key I think to staying together(nearly 30 years now) is realizing that the giver & the taker changes and as long as it does, each one feels willing to stay together.

  7. #16
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    I just got married a month ago! I am 25 and moved from California to New Zealand to be with my man who's 27. I have had about 5 serious boyfriends and a few flings that have made me figure out what I really want. My husband has about as much experience as I do, honestly, when you've sampled the buffet a bit and you know what else is out there, you don't end up wondering later in life. I think there comes a time when you decide that this is the person, and that you're ready. Then again, some people never do, and that's okay, too. We are both from broken homes and are confident (and adamant) that we will work at any issues that come up so we don't end up like our parents and put our kids thru what we went thru.

  8. #17
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    We were both 24 and had been together for several years and known each other for several more. Interestingly, our closest friends who were married a couple of years before us are also still together and we're all still close 11 years later. I think it depends on the couple and the experiences they've had before they got married - have they lived on thier own, seen something of the world and does the couple have shared belief systems and goals and most importantly have you learned to be flexible and compromise.

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by laurenmarie
    it makes me very claustrophobic.
    I recommend sticking with your gut feeling.

    I'm 29, and asked my fiance to marry me earlier this year. We're probobly going to get married in 2008, after he's done with school.

  10. #19
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    I was 19. That marriage lasted 9 years and I don't think my age had much to do with it ending. Though I can't imagine marriage would work for most 19 year olds! I'm now past 30 and am planning to marry my fabulous boyfriend- this time for the long haul. I can see a difference in the last ten years, not just maturity but plain old experience.

  11. #20
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    We were 24 for my first marriage, and we would have waited longer if he hadn't had his student visa run out (he was from Canada). We were divorced when we were 35. We were unstoppable as a couple until we had our son; I wanted to change and he didn't. (The extra, secret and pregnant girlfriend didn't help matters, either). I married my second, current and final husband when he was 36 and I was 39.

    I loved my first husband very much, and cannot for the life of me imagine myself married to him right now.


 
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