Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 45

Thread: marital age

  1. #21
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    29
    I was 22, hubby was 25. We've been together for 19 years, celebrating 15 years married this May.

    I think it depends on the people. We've been through a lot of changes - infertility, multiple miscarriages, a very high risk pregnancy (I'm now 37, he's 40 and hopefully parents in the spring), depression, attempted suicide (mine), many jobs, grad school, no money, lots of money, big moves across country. We're stronger than we ever have been and I really cannot ever imagine being married to anyone other than him.

    We started as friends though, so the foundation of our relationship - even in the hard times - is of friends supporting one another. If you have that, I think you can deal with anything.

    AnnS.

  2. # ADS

  3. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    madison, wi
    Posts
    108
    I was 20 (1 month shy of 21) and my husband was 21. However, I don't think we're average people.

    If you're feeling claustrophobic, I'd definitely go with your gut, like the other ladies stated. Keep in mind, nobody *has* to get married!

  4. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    central florida
    Posts
    30
    I'm planning to get married this year (exact date, time and place TBA) to my boyfriend. I'm 21 and will be 22 in October, and he's 24, turning 25 in April. We've been living together with his recently widowed mother for about 1.5 years now, and have been together for 2.5. We have a really great chemistry, and no matter what the argument was during the day (if there was one), it's gone before we go to sleep. I came from a broken home where my dad was a bit overaggressive to say the least, and they split after 17 years or something like that when I was about 5 yrs old. His parents had been married for a really long time, and loved each other until his dad died in 2005.

    We are ready to get married, the only thing I am concerned about is that my family is located all over the place, the bulk of them in Illinois, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, and the wedding is going to take place in Florida. My sister is in Colorado as well... so while we'd like to get married perhaps late summer, early fall, if my family wanted to come we'd have to give them a bit more of an advanced notice. My boyfriend would like to get married ASAP, but I don't want to just get married and not have any of my family there. Plus, we need to have enough money to put this show on... and I'd like to be able to have a second reception in my home town so all of my high school friends, and various family from up north could make only a minor journey to see my new husband and I.

    BUT

    I don't think you can put a blanket age as "too young" either, but of course, I may think differently in 10 years or when I have my own daughter. Though, I suppose you could say anyone younger than 18 is DEFINITELY too young in this day and age. I think it's important to get out of your parents house and support yourself for a few years, get through college or whatever before you commit to marriage... especially if you're a woman. I think it's important for a woman to know how to support herself, in case there is a time when she has to be independent because of a bad relationship, etc. It doesn't mean you don't have faith in your partner, it just means you have a back up plan if all else fails. Coming from the womb of a woman who was abused for 17 years, I take these sorts of things seriously.

    And, for the record, I have changed a lot from when I was in high school til now, but I haven't become a completely different person as far as my values, morals, religion, etc. My tastes in clothing, art, music, etc have changed a bit, but I don't think those are things that destroy a relationship. It's expected that people will change over time, the idea is that you "grow together" not "grow apart."

    And with that, I need to get ready for the day!

  5. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    2,021
    if you two want to get married soon for a "practical" reason like insurance, legal issues, immigration, etc. you could always get hitched at the courthouse ASAP, and then have a ceremony and receptions for your family later after you've saved the money. one of my friends did that, since she ended up getting married so her husband didn't have to leave the country and come back every few months to keep his visa.

  6. #25
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    The Colony, TX
    Posts
    4
    I was 21 and my husband was 22 when we married. We had dated for 3 years. We have been married for almost 26 years, but not without some squabbles. BUT, It has gone by really fast and we love each other more now than ever. My advice is that you need to make sure your boyfriend is your best friend. There are things you need to talk about, such as religion, tastes, children, working after children, music, where you are going to live. These are just a few things that you need to agree on now or it won't last. One thing my mom told me and you need to think about is that no matter what, you have to get along with his family and he needs to get along with yours. You are both marrying the family when you marry the person. His family will be important to him and yours should be important to you. You sound like you are close to at least part of your family and that's good. He should not be in such a hurry that you can't get your family there to see you on what should be your happiest day (except for when you have kids). You need to think about the reasons you are getting married. If it is just because your boyfriend wants to, then don't do it yet. Forever is a long time, and even though you have been living together, getting married is different and it is an adjustment. Money is another subject to be on the same track. As far as the wedding, you can do a nice wedding for just a little bit of money. You just have to be able to search out the deals. Also, are you planning to live with his mother? How do you feel about that? Will you ever be "THE" woman of the house? Do you want to be? My son is going through a divorce right now after only 3 1/2 years. Quite messy... and with 3 very small children. His wife wasn't able to adjust to him working nights, being responsible for a home & children (which she really likes being pregnant and having babies), and not having as much money to spend as when she lived with her dad and stepmom. Getting married IS wonderful, but make sure it is someone you want to wake up next to for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Good luck!

  7. #26
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Coral Springs Fl
    Posts
    2
    HI My wife was 34 when she married me at 19. I''m now 30 and still married to her!

  8. #27
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Chicagoland
    Posts
    1
    Just chiming in on what''s now a slightly older topic, but I married my DH when I was 30 and he was 34. We began seeing each other right before my 28th b-day. I''m now 33 and we''re very happy. It was good for me to wait until I did as it gave me a chance to figure out who I was when I was in my 20''s. I had most of that decade to have unsuccessful relationships, concentrate on my hobbies and my work and travel. I want to say had we met when I was a bit younger and more confused about everything, it probably would have worked out but it''s not a given. Laurenmarie, if you''re still unsure, I might have to defer to the great wisdom of your Grandmother. But like many have said, it depends on who you are, who your boyfriend is, and what you both want.

  9. #28
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Carlsbad, CA
    Posts
    10
    My husband and I were both 20 when we got married last September...

    I think that most the people our age are too young to get married... for Jay and I though.. it works. We are both at different maturity levels than most the people our age (sounds egotistical i know), and we are smart enough to research into what it takes to keep the relationship strong and to prepare for the future for the unexpected..

    Ex) we have a budget, a emergency fund that doesn't get touched for ANYTHING... and got rid of the credit cards we had, and are paying down the student loan and the car loan (our only debt) actively., we also have a percentage of our income go straight to a retirement fund.
    We also are signing up for marriage counseling classes through the military (hubby is a Marine) to make sure that we don't develop any bad habits and learn how to effectively communicate now.. rather than have problems later that could have been easily avoided.


    it all depends on maturity level. In our case we already were pretty responsible for 20 year olds.. but because my husband is an active duty Marine and we have to deal with things like PCS' (moves), deployments, and low income... it has encouraged us to really be responsible esp as far as money.. which is one of the number one reasons why couples fight and divorce.

    We also both have drive and ambition.. i already have my AAS.. and when Jay gets out of the Marines he is going to join the Sheriffs department, and i will go back to school for my BA..

    We also are luckly because we both come from strong supportive families and my parents are even paying for my schooling... so i think it has alot to do with how you were raised, your support system and most importantly the maturity to act in a preemptive manner... (you get what im saying)

  10. #29
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2
    love knows no age

  11. #30
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Waco, TX
    Posts
    66
    Like other folks have said, it really does depend on the people, their maturity levels, and their committment to make the relationship work through all the hard stuff. My mom was SEVENTEEN when she married my dad (he was 21), and they've been married for 36 years, through all sorts of really random crap. I, on the other hand, was definitely not emotionally/mentally ready for marriage at that age (besides, my parents would have killed me :p), and I still don't think I am at 22. So to each their own.

    Now, if you're feeling claustrophobic now, imagine spending the rest of your life with the guy.


 
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Remove Ads

Ads

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. marital sex question
    By fairgreenlady in forum Domestic Bliss
    Replies: 75
    Last Post: 11-09-2019, 03:39 AM

Search tags for this page

forums culture marital

,

i'm 21 and my boyfriend in 25 we want to get married

Click on a term to search for related topics.