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  1. #1
    Member
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    Jul 2006
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    Saskatchewan, Canada
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    Accomodating inlaws/other family members at holiday time

    How do you all deal with this?

    For me my holiday 'days' are for our 'family' as imediate family. I'm not beyond comprimise, but how do you all schedule 'including everyone'? Sadly, i caved and had Xmas today (xmas eve) so it would just be me the husband and the kids. It seems the relatives are taking over. I'd love to hear how you deal with this. -PHH

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  3. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Urbana, IL
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    49
    The schedule that always worked for my family was Christmas Eve at one persons house [in our case it was a family friend], Christmas morning and afternoon at home with time to open presents and play with them a little bit, and then Christmas dinner at another person's house [in our case, Grandma and Grandpa's].

  4. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    yay area
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    1,383
    i'm moving this to 'domestic bliss'
    so it doesn't get lost in freestyle. perhaps someone there will have some good advice. myself, i have a small immediate family and am no longer have inlaws....

  5. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    456
    My husband's family tradition is to have a big dinner and open presents on Christmas eve. My family tradition is to open presents on Christmas day and have a big breakfast. We go to the in-laws Christmas eve and stay home Christmas day.

  6. #5
    Member
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    Jul 2006
    Location
    Saskatchewan, Canada
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    75
    My problem is soo many people! Both my parents have been remarried and both my husbands parents have been remarried. so instead of two sets of grandparents, there are four. So many people, so few days. Throw in aunts and uncles, cousins and time is tight I hope by getting feed back now.......next year will run a lot smoother. Keep the ideas coming. Thanx -PHH

  7. #6
    Member
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    Jul 2006
    Location
    McKinney, TX
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    im my family (i am not married but this is how my parents did it)it went like this
    christmas eve: visit extended family(who live more than a 30 min drive away) and open presents from/for them at their house

    christmas day: we allotted about 3 hours christmas morning to open our family presents, ones my parents and sibling bought for each other, and have christmas breakfast then had a open house(told everyone to come around noonish) of sorts where extended family was invited to come and bring a covered dish and graze over the dishes all day

    the reason this worked:
    -most of our family lived within 30 minute driving time and it wasn't a burden to drive to our house
    -it gave us a chance to see our friends/neighbors on christmas
    -noone was having to drive to multiple households, just ours
    -our extended family worked well together
    -we live in fl so its always nice outside weather so you aren't crowded
    -gave everyone a chance to have christmas morning immediate family only


    but we are a verry relaxed family and southern so the whole buffett all day thing works well for us where it may not for others

    and yes bringing everyone into your house can be a bit nerve racking but the fact that we were all together in the comfort of our own home made it so worth it


    sorry about the long reply this was the first year i was not able to be with family over the holidays and i couldn't help running with this

  8. #7
    Member
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    Jul 2006
    Location
    Saskatchewan, Canada
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    75
    That does sound good. I live in Canada and on Christmas day it is usually way too cold to be outside. I do like the idea of xmas morning just for imediate family and Santa of course. Any other suggestions? -PHH

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    northern virginia
    Posts
    79
    This is a huge problem for me too and is causing quite a bit of drama right now. Growing up, all of my extended family lived locally within an hour radius so traditionally we'd spend Christmas Eve at my grandparents on my mother's side and Christmas Day with my grandparents on my dad's side (and this included all the aunt, uncles, cousins, and family friends too). Now as an adult all of my grandparents have passed away except for my mom's dad so we're still doing Christmas eve at his house and now my father's spinster sister has taken over Christmas Day activities.

    Throw in the fact that I'm now married and my husband's parents are divorced and can't stand each other we have to have four seperate Christmases! My family is pretty religious so they get offended if we don't do all the Christmas stuff and we've tried to invite my hubby's parents but his mom is an athiest so I don't want my Bible beating relatives making her feel weird and to be honest we can't invite her and then not invite my husband's dad but when we had our wedding we had to make sure they were on opposite sides of the room so they never even saw each other. In years past this whole holiday thing hasn't been much of a problem because his mom SEEMED understanding and not to care about the day so much since she understood my family was religious, but then just Christmas day she called bawling saying she didn't think anyone cared about her and how awful it was to spend the holiday alone. To be honest, it's enough to make your head explode, but I'd love to hear others suggestions on how to solve this!

  10. #9
    Member
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    Jul 2006
    Location
    Saskatchewan, Canada
    Posts
    75
    I can so relate. It disturbs me that all of these grown ups cannot set their differences aside one day a year! I did get a suggestion from a friend: 'host an open invitation Christmas', invite everyone and if they are mature, they will show up. May not stay long, but at least an effort was made to include everyone. And she also suggested, "send thankyou cards to each who attended and sorry we missed you to those who didn't'.Supposedly it gets easier/smoother over time. -PHH


 

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