Relationship troubles. Any adivce?

[Christi]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now. I have known him my whole life. He is a wonderful man. Very sweet. We have never had any problems. Just little fights here or there. Lately, I have been feeling like I need some time apart. I am 24 and I have never been single. I have gone from one long term relationship to the next. I love my boyfrined but I feel like I want to be single. To see what it is like to be alone before committing to this relationship for the long haul. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? I need advice on how to handle it. I am afraid of hurting him. I am also afraid that his family will not want to speak to me again. Agh. What should I do?

[Craft Forums]

[craftfetish]

I don't have any advice - just good wishes and encouragement.

[stella]

i've totally been there, and i'm there right now. it sucks to be the one on the receiving end, let me tell you. it's really confusing and it hurts when you are in love with someone and they aren't sure if they are in the same place. now i know how my boyfriend felt when i did the same thing to him!

on the other hand, you need to to take care of your needs. if you need to be single, that is definitely valuable. however, he might not want to wait for you to get that out of your system. you might be able to have both, but you might not.

i would very much suggest talking to a therapist/clergy member/old friend/whatever before making any big moves, especially if you're not totally sure yourself what to do.

[mele]

What part of being'single' are you specifically thinking about? Maybe what you need is just some space alone with yourself? Get specific about what you want before talking with SO

[Christi]

I should be a little more specific about my situation. It's just hard for me to admit it but I think I may have feelings for someone else. I have been kinda flirty with this guy. Nothing serious just playful but now I think about this boy alot. I still love my boyfriend but this other guy is constantly in the back of my mind. I should have mentioned it in my first post but it's just hard to admit it. Agh.

Thanks for the advice guys. This situation sucks. And I hate the fact that I am hurting him so much.

[stella]

hey, i know that feels silly, but i think we've all had those feelings!

i guess the thing is, if you do leave him to be with someone else, you most likely aren't going to be able to be with him in the future. crushes are fun, but do you want to lose your relationship to pursue it? if you are willing to break up with your boyfriend to pursue this other dude, there is nothing wrong with that at all, it's just definitely different from wanting time alone.

[Christi]

yah. I know that I cant enter another relationship right now. I don't think that would be good for me at all. As for this other guy. I get so excited to see him and hang out with him. Like very happy. Does that mean it's more than a crush?

I feel so crazy right now. I just don't really know what I want. I know that before I realized my feelings for this other guy, I was feeling like i needed some space from my boyfriend. And then this whole crush thing happened and it has just been driving me crazy ever since. I just can't get him outta my head. I don't know. I guess only time can tell?

[elixirbeth]

I was in your situation a few years ago, and I'm so glad that I ended it.

I was having doubts for a reason! In hindsight, the relationship was unhealthy and unsatisfying. Initially he was heartbroken, but at the end of the day, since I wasn't happy, I wasn't able to give him what he needed. He has since moved on (obviously) and started a family. I am currently in an amazing relationship that would have never happened if I hadn't listened to my feelings in the first place (the old BF and I were planning to get married.)

[JediEmpressMel]

I think that for a lot of people, crushes are normal.
But if you want to actually leave your bf to be with that other guy, it sounds like you maybe aren't really happy being with him.

[Christi]

Thanks for the help everyone. I have decided to take a break from the relationship. It has been a couple of days. And it's hard but I don't miss him as much as I thought I would. I think I am more sad about the fact that I don't miss him that much. I don't know. I think I am just going to give it time and see what happens. I feel like that is the only solution I have.