View Poll Results: Did you elope or have a ceremony?

Voters
23. You may not vote on this poll
  • Eloped

    5 21.74%
  • Big Ceremony

    0 0%
  • Medium Ceremony

    9 39.13%
  • Small Ceremony

    9 39.13%
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Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    140

    Elope v. Ceremony

    My boy and I have been together for 7+ years. We decided to get married about 3 years ago but ever since we have lacked planning.

    I always said that I would elope. We have gone back and forth over whether to have a small ceremony or to elope. Well, lately, it just seems like we should finally do it since it would solidify our union and it seems silly to say 'boyfriend' at this point since he is more than that to me. October is our favorite month so it seems right to do it now. We are both pretty non-traditional types so a fancy pancy wedding is out of the question.

    We have been trying to figure out an interesting way to elope with limited time and limited funds. I think we have just decided to do it at the courthouse and then go to a nearby city and stay in a nice hotel for a couple of days. It seems a little boring but the time seems right and maybe that is more important.

    So, for you married folks, how did you get married?

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  3. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    161
    My boy and I eloped, just us and the friend that introduced us at the court house. I had a lot of fun, we got dressed up (I bought myself a new outfit so that it wouldn't be something he had seen before) and I did the old/new/borrowed/blue thing (the wardrobe boys at my work LOVED finding my "borrowed" thing). Afterwards we had to finish up some INS stuff, so we had coffee and egg sandwiches at Kinkos. And then we both worked that night! I think keeping some of the traditions (ring, new skirt, old/new) helped make the day seem real, and not just seem like we're paying a parking ticket or applying for a fishing license.
    My mom was a little upset at first that she wouldn't get to do the mother of the bride thing, but I think that enough of her friends with daughters have gushed over the fact the we spent no money that she's happy now, she always calls and asks we how her son-in-law is doing. We are pretty non-traditional and there was NO way I was ever going to wear a white dress and walk down an aisle, so this got rid of the quest ion of how we would do the ceremony. Also, we had some time constraints because my work visa was going to expire soon and we wouldn't have time or money to plan anything too big yet.
    We had been planning on getting married for a while, but he did get a ring and he did propose (he's a little more traditional than I am). I am really impressed with the ring, he got it from a jeweler in florida (fay cullen i think) who has a lot of affordable antique jewelry. I know it was way less than $1000 and it is nice to have a piece of jewelry from him that he took so much care picking out (plus it's a gorgeous art deco diamond and saphire ring with really intricate filigree).
    We are having an open house at my parents' house in Vancouver in November, and probably a party of some kind in New York next spring. (the in laws still want a wedding). The main thing we will be traditional about is a honeymoon : ) we are saving up to go to Morocco for three weeks next year.

  4. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    80
    We had what I would call a "medium ceremony" I guess- about 50 guests- maybe that's a small ceremony.

    We were also non-traditional (our son was the ring-bearer, LOL, the white-dress thing kinda went out the window for going traditional, plus we were on a very tight budget). We actually got married on Halloween, in the afternoon. Didn't go Goth on it. Just had fun, there were lots of kids there in costume, we did goodie bags for the guests, had cupcakes instead of a traditional cake. I highly recommend Halloween day for weddings- nobody else wants it so it's easy to find rentals and stuff, plus the future DH has no excuse for forgetting your anniversary!

    Along those lines, hmmm, you could throw a Halloween party, and then have the wedding as a surprise when everyone arrives. That's kinda like eloping but not exactly. Or you could elope and use the Halloween party as a surprise reception. If there are any holiday events where you live, you could probably arrange to get married at one of them. Or you could go to the courthouse, do your thing, and then meet your friends at the event in your "wedding garb" and just have fun.

    Just some thoughts- getting married on Halloween is a little too wierd for alot of people, but it worked for us!

  5. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Brooklyn
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    161
    Becky's post reminded me of a great wedding I witnessed a couple of years ago. I was doing lights for the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus at their theatre in Time square, once a week there would be an open mic night and one time a couple came and got married! It made alot of sense because they got to get married on a stage in front of a gorgeous red drape, their guests were entertained by an amazing roster of sword swallowers, clowns, magicians and burlesque girls, we sold beer really cheap so their guests could drink, and it didn't cost them anything. It was also cool for the Bindlestiffs because they could say they had a wedding on their stage!
    Not that you need to go the variety entertainment route, I'm sure there are music or comedy clubs near you that have open mic nights. Most only give you 5-7mins, but I'm sure if you set it up before hand you could take longer, besides you would be providing them with a lot of business. You could even tell you friends you were performing and they should come see you and surprise them.
    (Becky's post reminded me of this wedding because it was a goth/black magic wedding - but that's unrelated)
    have fun whatever you do! creative weddings are awsome!
    bree

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    seattle, wa
    Posts
    65
    Hey girlie!!! :)

    Ohmigosh, I have got to tell you about this gorgeous chapel north of Austin in Georgetown! It's where me and my hubby got married and it was cheap, and non-denominational, lovely and EASY! They took care of the flowers, decorations, music, etc. All I did was buy a kickass dress (at a vintage wedding dress store on S. Lamar) and showed up.

    http://txcare.home.texas.net/ttkhome.html

    (Email me off the list if you wanna chat more about it!!! :) )

  7. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    456
    My husband and I had a small ceremony performed by the County Clerk ($20) at the public Gazebo in the middle of town (free). Then we had a small reception with finger food ($100) at a church-owned building ($40). The priciest thing was the photographer, but that's because we didn't know anyone who took really good pictures.

    Now, if I had it to do all over again, I would make it a complete suprise to everyone. I felt stuffy and uncomfortable in my dress, as did my husband in his tux. Our family is big on potluck dinners, so I would organize a "routine" dinner that began with my wedding. That way, the family is there, the food is there, and the comfort is there.

  8. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    28

    Re: Elope v. Ceremony

    Quote Originally Posted by peppermintsquare
    So, for you married folks, how did you get married?
    Common law. I suppose you have to be the type of people who don't care what sort of stigma that might carry, though. As far as the two of us are concerned, we'll let the law meddle in our affairs only when it behooves us to do so. The rest of it was taken care of by him and me and the great big universe...no one else.

  9. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    eastern Washington st.
    Posts
    9
    We had a big ceremony and it was nice but I'm not sure I'd do it that way again. The "being married" part is way better and way more important than the "getting married" part. The big ceremony was a heck of a lot of work and stress for just one day.

  10. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Biggest Little City in the World
    Posts
    267
    Being a spinster lady, I got no advice on the specifics. Other than if you did something a little formal you could play some really kickass mixtapes for the first dance at the party.


    But congratulations Dixie!!! All the best to you & Clint :)!

  11. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,563
    We had around 90 people and were married by a justice of the peace. 90 was the smallest number we could get away with without offending anyone. We also had the wedding in a place that people had to travel to (likely stay overnight) and did not invite children (so anyone that needed a babysitter didn't come).

    It's one of those things - you can't invite Uncle Bob without invited Aunt Carolyn, ya know? But, if you elope - or only have your parents - then no one can get offended. So there is a huge plus in that scenario, especially since you have been together so long and presents are not an issue (I assume you have been eating off matching plates for awhile now!).

    My best friend's mother actually offered her 10,000 dollars to elope (the wedding cost more than that). They seriously considered Vegas, but then they got concerned because he is an immigrant and gets profiled as a Middle Eastern terrorist at the airport everytime they travel.


 
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