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  1. #1
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    "girls" vs. "guys"

    do you prefer people to call you (usually plural) "hey guys" or "hey girls?" imean, a guy is obviously a guy, but usually if it's just one female, people don't call them a guy, but when it's a group, it's always "guys." that really bugs me...but then, i'm not a "girl" either. maybe at one point it was acceptable, but come on, i'm not 8 years old anymore...so, i don't like being called either, but, what's an alternative? does anyone else get totally bugged about being grouped in with the guys when people say "you guys..." etc? i notice it all the time, and even though i hate it, it's such a figure of speach i catch myself doing it sometimes too!

    other thoughts about this subject would be appreciated. if this is spoken about in another thread, i'd love to be directed there too.

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  3. #2
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    for some reason I have no problem with "Hey guys" but I get a chill going down my back if I hear "Hey Girls" especially if it is a man saying it. It creeps me out to have a man refer to me as a girl.

    Now, if everyone can just start saying "Excuse me, ladies" that would be great.

  4. #3
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    In texas we say "Hey Y'all", If im refering to a group of women, I will usually say "hey ladies" everyone else is y'all.

  5. #4
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    It's funny- I don't even think of the word 'guys' as being gendered at all- I call people 'guys' all the time, I also call people 'kids' (I caught that off my friend Kid Cupid) but when at stitch and bitch it's definately 'hey ladies'

  6. #5
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    I'll stick with using "hey guys" because I don't think there's a better term to casually refer to a group of people, and I believe it is common enough (at least where I'm from) to have become a gender neutral term in that context.

    Calling adult women "girls" can be considered offensive, calling adult women "ladies" in a situation where you wouldn't refer to men as "gentlemen" (like a very formal event or circus or car race) is actually incorrect and as I've heard, also offensive...and if "guys" is offensive too, sounds like we're all losers any way we go...

    Maybe it'd be better to consider the intent of the speaker, rather than worrying about the exact words, if you're in a group and someone says "hi guys" it seems that rather than trying to call you a man, they are actually just trying to say hello (same applies to the use of "girls" and "ladies"). If someone's trying to insult you (or if some skeevy guy's hitting on you), by all means, get mad as hell and let them have it, but otherwise...

  7. #6
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    i was just thinking about this! it totally gets on my nerves big time that there is queer eye for the straight guy, and it's equivalent? queer eye for the straight girl.

    guy and girl are NOT equivalents. boy and girl are. when people refer to men as guys and women as girls it IS a put-down.

    i also hate it when i'm at a restaurant and the server says "what do you guys want" - sometimes i'll be with my mother - and it rankles even more that someone is referring to my 60 yr young mother as "you guys". drives me up a wall. no gender distinction is necessary then - the person could just say "what can i get for you" and it would be understood that it's the plural you.

    whatever language people use among their friends doesn't concern me, but the big things do.

  8. #7
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    Saying "Hey guys" to a bunch of ladies was my sisters pet language peeve and now it is mine. I think it is kind of sexist, but I still find myself blurting out an occasional you guys. I've switched to y'all and now people ask if I'm from the south, which is just kind of funny.

  9. #8
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    Athos, i agree with your points. i try to be aware of when/if gendered language is even necessary and keep it as inclusive as possible. while "guys" seems non-gendered because it is so commonly used, obviously it is not when there are shows like Queer Eye...or, as I have had happen to me, someone says "thanks guys" to myself and a female friend, then corrects themselves and says "i mean girls." there is a difference. "girls" is just as offensive to me because people hardly ever call men "boys" unless it's an obvious irony, sarcasm, or joke. noticing these things drives me up the wall because it's always there. i know the best i can do is pay attention to my own language and perhaps bring it up in conversation if necessary. thanks for the feedback. i enjoy hearing everyone's perspectives.

  10. #9
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    When I greet a group of women I usually say refer to them as gals or ladies. "Hey gals" or "What's new ladies?" I also really dislike when someone refers to me or greets me with "girl" unless it is an older lady (like the lady that works at the cafe in my work place. She always greets me with "how you doing today girl?".

  11. #10
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    I'm all for being careful with your language, and I also agree that the terms "guys" and "girls" aren't equivalent, and if you want to stop using "guys" as a way to refer to mixed groups or groups of women and only use "girls" to refer to kids, you should do just that.

    The thing about being really careful with your language is that you can't expect that everyone you meet will be as careful as you are (even if you wish they were), and if you get offended everytime you meet someone that isn't, you'll spend a lot of time being offended.

    Most people using the term "guys" are not trying to offend or insult anyone. If they then correct themselves to say "girls," it's clear that they are just trying to say the right thing, but unfortunately for them, there isn't a good feminine equivalent for "guys" (a failing of the language, not the speaker). Getting offended when someone is trying to be kind, helpful, or friendly (even if they are a little awkward in their word choice) seems like a shame to me.


 
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