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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004

    Crafting Drama - Arrrrgggghhhh...

    I have a situation.

    Right now I'm kind of the co-founder of a local, budding bead society. I say "kind of a co-founder", because the woman I've been doing this with has really been the driving force. I've had my own life situations and have not been particularly energetic recently.

    She was previously part of a very large urban bead society and seems determined to make our small group of small town people into a replica of Big Urban Bead Society. So, she wants to do things like run big events! Incorporate as a non-profit! and other energetic things that are impractical with our current number of people or resources.

    What's brought this all to a head is that she's contacted the IRS about becoming a non-profit and they're now nagging her and she doesn't understand the paperwork at all so she's throwing up her hands and begging me to help her. My initial reaction is, "Honey, I didn't want to take this particular horse out of the stable. You did. You f*cking ride it."

    My kinder and reasoned response (after researching non-profits at bit) is that this is a wildly impractical thing for us to do. For starters, you need a Board of Directors. We're not that big, so that would be our entire membership. Hello!

    So, I'm going to get back to her, suggest we just incorporate as a for-profit business, get a DBA account and just pay the $2 a year or whatever the heck our taxes turn out being. A viable alternative would be to investigate whether our state bead society would be willing to take us on as a Chapter. I don't think they in particular have ever done anything like that, but I've heard of it being done and I'm sure we could work something out.

    But what a royal rectal pain-in-the-f*cking-ass. I really want to throttle this woman for running around like a chicken with her head cut off and injecting all this drama and neediness into something that should be fun.

  2. # ADS

  3. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Mm. I've been in similar situations where what started out as something small and fun gets someone really ambitious and the fun gets sidelined - hope this works out in the end for you!

  4. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Brooklyn, NY
    from what you said, it sounds like it just doesn't make sense for you guys to go the non-profit route, so i think your ideas are good. is there anyway to encourage her to take things a little slower???

  5. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    What are her reasons for wanting to incorporate? Is it about funding? Because if it's a small group and you don't do many events, is it really necessary? Or is she more about doing it just 'cause it's "the thing to do?"

    If she has a specific reason she wants to incorporate -- like, she sees a way it would help your group -- then maybe it would help her focus. And maybe you could suggest ways to achieve that goal without incorporating!

    Good luck. I've been in little groups that people wanted to push in different directions, and it's hard! But good for you for getting something started, anyway! We need more people to realise that you can just go ahead and start something!

  6. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Thank you for the kind comments everyone!

    Quote Originally Posted by mindshare
    What are her reasons for wanting to incorporate? Is it about funding?...Or is she more about doing it just 'cause it's "the thing to do?"
    That's exactly it. I've since talked to her about it and her point is, "Well all the other bead societies do this". Well yes, all the highly visible bead societies are located in big urban centers and probably have membership in the hundreds.

    We basically reached an impasse in our discussion. I said, "I really don't think that this works for us and I can't see us running a big event with the current number of people that we have interested." She's unwilling to let that go.

    One thing we could both agree on is that we need more people who are involved in leadership decisions and in paticular, I want to tap one woman who is very sensible and practical and willing to tell the Emperor when he's naked.

    The other thing and I'm not sure how to deal with this. The other woman is inclined to get judgemental and a bit mouthy with it. For example, she doesn't like the atmosphere of one bead shop because they're "not friendly enough" and thinks the owner of another shop is a jerk. This region is comprised of very small towns and if you say something about someone, it will get around.

    I can REALLY see this causing a problem somewhere down the line and honestly, it kind of annoys me on a feminist level, it fits in with a bad stereotype of women always running each other down and unable to conduct business without getting emotional about it.


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