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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Sep 2005
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    cincinnati ohio
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    19

    roomates mean girlfriend

    hello. i think this may be a little bit of a rant post. i am just very frustrated. my roomates girlfriend is very rude and there is nothing i can do about it because saying anything would cause major problems. she is always puts down my relationship with my boyfriend. we have a wonderful relationship. she acts like she is better than me and her relationship is so great (even though her boyfriend has cheated on her 2 times and she thinks she is the only person he has ever been with). she lives 45 minutes away and we hardly ever see her. she came to visit this weekend. i returned home tonight from a visit to my parents house and she left a very insulting and mean letter for me. we just got two kittens and we have had problems litter training them so i read online to put them in a small room until they go in the litter box every time. the letter said that i was being cruel to the kittens and i needed to think of them. she said that it was my fault they didnt use the litter box because it is so dirty and the house is disgusting because of the cats. she suggested that i give them away because i am not suited to take care of them. i was really hurt by that. i clean the litter box every day and i feel awful leaving them up in the room. i just can't believe she would say those things. i am a super animal lover (veggie since age 5 and studying to be a vet) i would never hurt or endanger an animal. plus its none of her business. agh. that was my rant. i think i feel better. olivia n

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  3. #2
    Member
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    Aug 2004
    Posts
    41
    You would think she could at least speak to you in person about it! Writing a letter just seems so juvenile. I'm also surprised that your roommate isn't sticking up for you a bit. I don't know the girlfriend though so I really don't know how to react. I mean there are some people (like my good self) who are far too fragile and sensitive to confront about this kind of stuff. Having said that, this chick does not seem non-confrontational! Some people just need to learn to mind their own business. No one is making her stay there! This probably isn't any help but I just can't stand other people being unhappy and I think you have every right to be upset about her behaviour.

  4. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    283
    I can sympathize. I live with a gay couple, and one of the guys was a close friend to me and my boyfriend before we moved in. Somewhere along the way.....he just changed into a self centered, controlling child. As you stated with miss girlfriend, he seems to think he's better than everyone and says so. My solution is simply to avoid him, which means I stick to my private living quarters (bathroom, bedroom, walk in closet).

    At least she doesn't live there. When she is there, I say ignore her, avoid her, etc. unless you really feel she goes over the line in some way you absolutely must say something. (Example, she breaks something of yours, she tries to harm one of the kitties, etc.) Of course, I'm a non confrontational person.

    What is going on between you and the boyfriend of hers? You mentioned he's cheated on her twice, and yet he doesn't stick up for you at the same time. Is he not your friend, just your roomie? If he is a friend as well, I'd talk to him about her rude behavior, maybe he would realize how upset she makes you. If he's not a friend, it makes things a bit touchier, but if you think she's going too far I would still mention it...part of being a good roomate is not having people over that cause tension. (Like most roomates think of that....lol). I would try to just forget this petty letter. You know you're doing right.

  5. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    brooklyn
    Posts
    600
    i think youve got the right idea by making yourself scarce when ever she comes round. if her visits are infrequent, let that be the day you make your hair appointment, or spend all afternoon in the library. she sounds like a cowardly waste of space, but ignoring her comment is probably easier said than done...

    -- eli

  6. #5
    Junior Member
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    Sep 2005
    Location
    cincinnati ohio
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    19

    avoid

    avoiding her sounds like a good plan to me. i don't think it would`be too hard. i am not friends with her boyfriend. we hardly get along. i moved in with my boyfriend so i didnt get a say in the roomates. its not a big deal really. i am just really sensitive and i was feeling bad about putting them upstairs already. last night i let them out because they hadnt had any accidents in awhile (not because of the letter) and they did great! they still love me and think i am a great mom! thats whats important

    olivia n

  7. #6
    Senior Member
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    Feb 2005
    Location
    yay area
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    1,383
    yuck! nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable in your own home. i have been in similar situations far too many times to count. i agree with staying out of the way when you can but being sickeningly sweet when you can't since you're obviously the one who cares about the situation. hopefully it will keep from causing any further tension. maybe she'll feel bad since you're obviously very kind. or at least maybe she'll try to play nice. sounds like she's all talk and is really not feeling so secure in her relationship to put yours down like that. and i don't think you're in the wrong with the kittens in the room to train them. it's agonizing enough to have to do it, let alone have someone whom obviously hasn't ever had to deal with the situation rub it in your face. hope they poop in her shoes!

  8. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    vermont
    Posts
    9
    you are totally training your kitties properly and she has no right to tell you otherwise even if she was right. they are your pets and she doesn't even live there! i agree with the others, just avoid being there when she is because she sounds like she sucks. (if she was super great her bf wouldn't cheat on her right?)

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Stayton OR
    Posts
    92
    Ugh! What's with all this non-confrontational stuff? (Actually I do understand not wanting to make waves with roomies, but still--)
    You're doing right by the kitties, don't sweat it. Besides, they are more likely to get injured unintentionally if they have their run of the house.


 

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