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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    26

    just barely hanging on

    just found out my ex-boyfriend got married.
    was with him for three years, told me at one point that he thought maybe he didn't ever want to marry anyone.
    guess they honeymooned in Hawaii.
    my mom is going to call tonite, my friends want to bring me food and be with me but right now, i'm going back to bed.
    sorry to bring this extra-personal sadness into the forum,
    just thought it might be good to hear your voices.

    -K

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  3. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    27

    hi

    Hello Kittoness-

    Try to hang in there. I don't know specifics and I don't know you......so the best advice I can offer is to take some time for you and when you are ready surround yourself with people that you love to be with and who love to be with you. I can imagine that this is a very difficult time for you and I am sorry that you are hurting.

    craftystasie

  4. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    811
    Long ago, one of my friends lamented that she was always the girl who made the guy acceptable to other women. She housetrained them, clued them in on when not to fart and how to keep the zipper zipped among other things.

    Maybe your three years with this guy made him a better person.

  5. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    777
    That sucks. Big hug to you. Do you have ice cream in the house? Not a very deep answer but it's a goodie. We're here for you.

  6. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    822
    Oh my....BTDT!!
    Many moons ago I went thru the same thing after my ex-boyfriend of 3 1/2 years got married within just a year of our breakup.
    BUT...I had to laugh later on when my mom and sister saw he and his wife at a local arts festival. He was 6'3" tall, and his wife was apparently short and *ahem* ample. Basically they were described as Jack Sprat and his wife, which had us all howling with laughter!!
    And it made me feel a whole lot better!
    Some time later, I was at the lake with my husband for an after dinner walk, and who should also be there, but that guy w/ his wife, also taking a walk. Do you know that P**ck was so paranoid that he actually made his poor wife stay out on the pier just to avoid possibly having to walk by and talk to me....as if I would have said anything to him!!! Of course, being kind of an a@@hole, I planted my husband and I on a bench right next to the pier just to make that guy nervous! LMAO!!!

  7. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    227
    SO sorry to hear that, it's such a stinker.

    My ex married the girl he was cheating on me with, less than a year after we broke up. He was such a loser, and I am so much better off, but it still smarts.

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Ontari - Oh!
    Posts
    79
    Man, that really sucks. Make sure you spend some time really wallowing in self pity...that way you move through the sadness stage quickly. On the other side of sadness, you can clearly see why you're better off! And quite frankly, with the right girlfriends, and the right beverage, the anger stage can be sort of fun....

    Big hugs, and I'd have to agree...ice cream cures all!

    (Especially Cherry Garcia). Yum.

  9. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    26
    thank you all so very much, you've been so sweet, i really appreciate it ; )
    i know it might sound sick, but it helps so much to hear this has happened to other women too.
    a very similar thing happened with another one of my ex's years ago, but i'm much much better about that one now. so i guess, here we go again!
    i know it will get better, but these first 24 hours are akin to surgery without anesthesia.
    but you are all right, ice cream is a good friend. esp when one doesn't drink ; )
    and my friends have been better than great. my closest guy friend is the one who volunteered to tell me the news, he knew it would be best coming from him. he even offered to bring me anything i needed and to stay with me too. too bad he's married eh ; )
    i know you guys are almost complete strangers, but it's weird that even so, you've been a huge comfort to me.

    thank you.

  10. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    philly, pa
    Posts
    17
    That sucks! If you haven't already, I'd recommend reading one or both of the Greg Behrendt books ("He's Just Not That Into You" and "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken"). I always find "Sex & the City" comforting and empowering, and there's nothing like a good run or really exhausting exercise to clear your mind.

    Remember, you're not with this guy for a reason, and it just means that there is someone better suited for you who will make you much happier than this guy ever could or would. Hang in there!


 

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