When a ""friend" owes you money...

An old roomate/friend... a couple of months ago asked me to put a ticket on my credit card...She doesn't have one (I guess debt problems in the past) because you get a better on line rate than a travel agent.. This was at the end of November!!!She offered to do an email transfer..but since my Visa Bill wasn't coming in for a few weeks..I said oh pay me when you see me...STUPID, STUPID on my part..we are both flight attendants..she needed the ticket to transfer to my city... She has sent me some crazy emails.. I have been politiely reminding her to pay me..and she has promised to pay me but... Well I have had it!! What can I do..the amount is $275... I never dreamed she wouldn't pay me.. The girl has lived with me before (although it did take her weeks to mail back my key!) WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Here is a samplel letter from her

i was suppose to be in yvr but got drafted i am here in vra but heading to yhz tomorrow then to yyz so i am hiding from u i will email the money to u or send a cheque either way.u know how thibngs are when u are in this industry.dont let evil money make u think any less of me please.we will talk soon.

hey there sorry i have been a bit zoned out my dad is not well at home so i have been a bit stressed.i am away till the 7 of march.i will call u when i get back.i will give u the money don´t worry i am not the kind that won´t pay u.i have just had loads on my plate this yr.hope u are doing well and i don`t want u to think the worst of me.ciao babe


another letter

hey babe nice to know you are feeling better.i would love to meet with u.i will call u tomorrow or friday this week.i am just trying to get some time in with donald here we only get to see each other once in a while.anyway i hope u are not being too hard on yourself and what will be in your life will be.i got screwed again for my schedule for febuary also so i am not happy with my company again and have not saved any money at all.so life is a bit shit but maybe it's time i move on to something else who knows.anyway we will chat soon and take care of yourself.gotta go so ciao bella

Perhaps try to set up a payment plan with her? It doesn't sound like she will ever be able to give you the full amount back at once.

I would explain to her that while she delays paying you, you are incurring interest charges on her $275. It's really irresponsible of her to do this to you and then to try to guilt you about "thinking lesser of her" and about her family problems.

Garr!

Tell her to make paying you a priority since you made it a priority to help her out with the ticket.

Thanks for the advice... I am really trying to keep positive and believe at some point she will pay me!!! I am tempted to send out the email by "accident" to her friends.. I wish I could shame her into paying... I would be happy with $50 a month for the next six..anything... If everyone who read this just thought positve about her paying me back..maybe I will get paid back... Thanks everyone!!!

I know how you feel louisa! I let a friend use my credit card to buy some tickets to a music festival at the start of the year. She paid me back 3/4 of the money straight away and said she'd get the rest to me as soon as she could. Six weeks passed and she hadn't mentioned it at all (she lives two streets away from me, so it's not like we never see each other). I brought it up and she just made some excuses like your friend. I still have not seen my money.

I think it's rude to put someone, especially a friend, in a position to have to ask for what is (or should be) their own money. I feel embarrassed bringing it up because it's only forty dollars, but I have just given up my job to go back to uni, so forty dollars is a lot to me right now!

I'm going to have to work up the nerve to be blunt.

hmmm... I guess i'll be the negative one. I've learned the hard way, like many of you, that friends and money dont mix. My mother always told me "never lend more money than you can afford to lose," and she was right. Judging by that woman's wack-ass email, AND by the fact that she borrowed the money six months ago... I think its safe to say that youre never going to see that money again. Some people are just shitty, and thats a fact of life. You've survived this long without the 300$ (if you got it back it would feel like a windfall), so move on.





****Note: I am not saying that she is not at fault for stiffing you... she's definitely the asshole in this situation.

ps. when you read her letters, they are chock full of LAME excuses as to why she can't see you, and why she cant pay.

GRR.

i've found that it just doesn't work - lending a friend money. you end up feeling like a jerk for thinking - "man she can afford to buy those rockin' shoes but not pay me back?"

unless it is an emergency - it usually is better not to lend $$ to someone you know - esp. if they have a bad track record with you already.

it might help to be firm with her - "i need the $$ by tues." but at this point, not sure that you are going to get your money back. i agree with elxirbeth - the emails do sound odd and a bit off.