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  1. #21
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    A few weeks ago, I was walking into Trader Joe's with my boyfriend and a car full of guys yelled at me that I had nice tits. I didn't react, but my boyfriend got really really really upset. At that moment it really became real to me how much I get that, all the time, to the point where I don't even think about it, and how he never gets it, ever.

    It made me really angry (at myself, at the world I live in) to realize that I don't even get angry any more ... if that makes sense.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by xuli
    A few weeks ago, I was walking into Trader Joe's with my boyfriend and a car full of guys yelled at me that I had nice tits. I didn't react, but my boyfriend got really really really upset. At that moment it really became real to me how much I get that, all the time, to the point where I don't even think about it, and how he never gets it, ever.

    It made me really angry (at myself, at the world I live in) to realize that I don't even get angry any more ... if that makes sense.
    Wow. I guess my theory of walking with guys to stop the street harassment is blown out of the water.

    I think that it's understandable to not feel anything after awhile. After years and years of it, it's hard to get angry every time it happens, simply because it starts to become "normal".

    I was going to buy a shirt Emilie Autumn made about street harrassment, but alas, she quit making them. It just said "street harrassment sucks" on it or something similar. Or print out those fliers and start posting them places.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by stella
    it really bothers me that it's "okay" to ignore harrassers. their behavior is unacceptable, but we are made to feel like it's our fault and we should just ignore them. fuck no. they need to be made aware that what they are doing is *not* okay. if a man whistled at you in the hall at work or school, it would be sexual harrassment, and that's what it is on the street.

    well i guess there lies the difference. i don't consider a whistle or even a little "dayum, girl" or whatever to be harassment, but merely the behavior of a jackass. they get ignored or a little sass and that's as far as i take it. again, why get riled up if you are in no way threatened. now, following you, grabbing you or overtly perverse, obscene comments.... i would consider THAT harassment.

  5. #24
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    My neighborhood used to be full of cheap, nasty hotels so there was no shortage of skeezy guys. Besides the regular honks and "woos!", I've been followed, asked if I wanted rides by several guys who made obscene gestures after I refused, asked if I wanted to "make some money", and yelled at that I was a whore (while wearing a Spice Girls t-shirt and baggy jeans, so I don't know where that came from). But it's not all bad. One time my boyfriend was driving me to pick up new glasses and at a red light the guy in the car next to us looked over and told me I'm pretty, another time while I was waiting to cross the street some guy in a car with a couple of girls kept complimenting me. It's still weird, but a different kind of weird.

  6. #25
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    why get riled?

    how about because it's FUCKED UP?

    i don't think whistling, hooting, yelling, or commenting is appropriate behavior. i don't feel complimented when some random asshole yells "nice tits" at me. is that supposed to make me feel good? i've never had anyone yell "nice grades" or "damn, you look like a powerful woman" at me from a moving car.

    how would you feel if someone acted like that to a 12 or 13 year old girl? because that kind of shit happened to me when i was that age. and it's not any cooler now than it was then.

  7. #26
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    stella~
    You're right....it's NOT a cool thing for guys to do.
    But if it's a random shout from a car, or random comment, there's probably not a whole hell of a lot you can really do and just not worth the energy expended to stay angry about it.
    I'd say that if you don't feel threatened, and you are good at snappy comebacks that'll make those particular weasels squirm, then go for it.
    If, as sarabell says, you're being followed or someone tries to grab at you, etc., then yeah, DO something about it. Definitely take a mental note of the person's description and location, and call the cops. You never know what that person might be up to, that would go so far as to follow or try to touch you, and you could be saving someone else from getting assaulted.
    You may not be able to put a stop to the men out there who would yell out things to ladies on the street.
    BUT....you CAN sit your sons/nephews/grandsons/friend's sons, etc. down individually or as a group and have an intelligent discussion with them about why it's inappropriate to do such things, and that it DOES NOT make a woman feel good to get hooted at like that.
    And yes...it DOES happen to young teens as much as it happens to older women.
    I got hooted at for the 1st time when I was around 14/15 yrs old, walking down the road in the summer (wearing shorts w/ my mile-long legs), on the way to meet a friend for lunch.
    My mom got hooted at by construction workers when she was in her 50's when she, my sister and I were walking down a street in D.C. and her skirt was blown up walking over a sidewalk grate.

    By the same token, I've seen plenty of females yelling out thigns to guys on the street, and I don't think that's appropriate either. Females seem to be less likely to yell out the crass stuff, though.

  8. #27
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    I'm not sure if I feel like explaining why I consider uninvited comments about my body, coming from people who I don't know, while I'm trying to dump carrot peelings into my compost pile, to be harassment. This article from the link brdgt posted sums up the problem better than I could, especially the "Call it What it is..." part:

    http://www.streetharassmentproject.o...tolerance.html

    Anyway, that Hollaback site?? Awesome!!

  9. #28
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    mindshare, that's a great link. she articulates how i feel much better than I am able.

    i really hate the "boys will be boys" attitude, and i would much rather be angry about something than complacent.

    as far as physical harrassment goes, noting someone's characteristics and calling the police is a good START, but it's definitely not enough to protect yourself from a potentially brutal situation. you have to be able psychologically able to yell, draw attention to the situation, maybe run, and maybe and fight like hell. the police may not get there in time to help you. you may not be able to make a call. there may be people around who ignore what is happening instead of helping you.

    there are a lot of myths out there about sexual assault and rapists, and they are all very dangerous. if you don't feel like you could protect yourself physically or verbally if someone grabbed you on the street, PLEASE take a self-defense class.

    i highly recommend RAD classes. the website http://www.rad-systems.com/ can help you find a class in your area. they are practical and very empowering. martial arts classes are good for improving your balance, general fitness, and self confidence, but most martial arts don't teach the techniques you may need to defend yourself against a real attack. RAD also discusses some of the common myths about what sexual assault is and how to protect yourself by being prepared and safe.

  10. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by stella
    i highly recommend RAD classes. the website http://www.rad-systems.com/ can help you find a class in your area. they are practical and very empowering. martial arts classes are good for improving your balance, general fitness, and self confidence, but most martial arts don't teach the techniques you may need to defend yourself against a real attack. RAD also discusses some of the common myths about what sexual assault is and how to protect yourself by being prepared and safe.
    Another recommendation for RAD. Taking those classes was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

  11. #30
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    Some guy just yelled "CAN I BORROW YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR THE NIGHT?" out the window of a taxi while my beef and I were walking out of Wal-Mart.
    It didn't really bother me, because I figured Drunk Guy on a Friday Night in Cleveland when There Were 2 Major Sporting Events Going On is Probably Going to Pick a Fight He Will Never Fight Because He Is In a Taxi and We are Not.
    My beef got SO pissed, though. He was talking about it an hour later.
    I don't really get a lot of comments, but when I do, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I get all bright-eyed and smiley and go "Really? Really, oh, YOU think I'M cute? I feel so validated now, thank you. Really." Or I'll roll my eyes.


 
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