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  1. #1
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    Jul 2004
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    street harassment

    Some people say that spring starts with the equinox, or with warmer weather.

    I think a better indicator that spring is here is not being able to take out the compost without getting called at by various groups of boys/men walking/driving by.

    I hate, hate, HATE that just anyone feels entitled to comment on me or my outfit. Yes, I look cute, but I'm not doing it for you, dude! I hate that people are trying to intimidate me wherever I go -- even in my own backyard! If I'm alone, I usually don't say anything, but then I always wish I had.

    So... What do you do when this happens? Ever put some stupid so-and-so in his place? Or can you just relate to this crap? I'd love to hear about it...

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  3. #2
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    Apr 2004
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    Wisconsin
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    You can hand out one of these flyers:
    http://www.streetharassmentproject.o...ers/porno.html

    *ETA* to fix link

  4. #3
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    Mar 2006
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    atlanta ga
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    i'm from new york, where that kind of behavior is rampant, is just sort of taken for granted that it will happen, etc.
    after ignoring it for years, I came into my own (ie, as I grew up) what i started to do when i heard comments being made about my person (i am extremely petite, and look like i am about 18 - it has always been hard for people to guess my age) I would turn around, look the man in the eye, and say "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" or "how would you feel if someone addressed your sister that way?" inevitably, he would blush, stammer an apology and literally run in the opposite direction.

    "I don't avert my eyes anymore" - ani difranco

  5. #4
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    Apr 2004
    Location
    northern virginia
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    I hate stuff like this too.

    Last summer I remember that I was out getting my lunch and these construction workers who seemed to always been on their lunch break yelled things at me as I walked back to my car. Once I got in my car something snapped in me and I drove over to where they were sitting on the grass, rolled down my window and shouted, "I'm sorry, where you talking to me? WERE YOU TALKING TO ME?!" (yes, I know it sounds very Dinero-esque in hindsight).
    The guys just sat there, either open mouthed or looking at each other. I could tell I had caught them off guard.
    "I didn't fucking think so! So keep your mouths shut next time!" I yelled and then peeled out.

    By the time I got back to work I was still so furious that I couldn't even eat my lunch. I'm a pretty quiet person in real life so even I'm surprised that I did something like that, but it felt good.

  6. #5
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    Jul 2005
    Location
    milan, italy
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    57
    don't worry too much. it'll stop. i am not talking about social progress, not that. it's just that people generally stop harassing you in the street once you hit 34. (and i live in italy, the world capital of street harassment).

  7. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    68
    oh, man.
    i lived in new york and thought that was the worst street harrassment i could experience, but college towns can be soooo bad too!
    i'm still trying to figure out how to think on my feet enough to yell a witty retort. so far, the best i can usually muster is a weak "oh yeah?" or "fuck off."

    anyway, i'm a firm believer in not letting people get away with that sort of thing (as long as i don't feel physically threatened), so i try to say at least a little something that lets them know their comments aren't welcome.

  8. #7
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    Northern California
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    i don't think just ignoring it and waiting until they stop is that great of a solution.

    usually "what did you just say to me?" followed by "how would you feel if someone talked to your mother like that?" is pretty good. i frequently give harrassers the finger if i feel physically safe, but it's probably not the most effctive or mature thing. more of a knee-jerk reaction.

    this is actually my favorite thing... i yell back, sacrcastically, "oh yeah, i love a man who yells shit at me on the street! that's real hot!" followed by "asshole." or something. it kind of points out how idiotic it is to catcall a woman anyways.

  9. #8
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    Feb 2005
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    yay area
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    i usually just ignore it but sometimes i'll slap my own ass and make some comment to the tune that they're right, i am fabulous, while i keep walking without missing a step....

    i really have just come to the point where i just don't allow myself to get worked up over little things like that. if some gardener decided he has to make a kissy face or wave at me while i'm walking down the street, i'll usually give it right back. it's much easier on the constitution than getting riled up.

  10. #9
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    Jan 2005
    Location
    Braintree, Massachusetts
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    361
    I smile back or ignore it, depending.
    I remember a while back (before kids and marriage!) it was 'hey, ya wanna get married?' I could see him and his friend from a mile away before I got up to them turning to check me out--I get amused by it!

    I can understand it would get annoying if it was constant though. I get self-conscious when those stares burn a hole through you.

  11. #10
    Senior Member
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    Jul 2004
    Posts
    120
    It's so sad that everyone seems to be able to relate to this!! But those are some good responses. I found more on the site that brdgt mentioned -- there are lots of stories on there about street harassment and what women have said in response. Some awesome stuff!

    It happened again today (different guys but again, while working in my backyard), and I was still pissed enough from yesterday to say "fuck off!"

    In the past I've tried to tell myself to ignore it (and I've certainly had other people, mostly men, tell me that as well), but I just can't do that when I remember that it isn't JUST a comment or a whistle on the street. It's yet another way that women are told: you don't belong here, you don't have the right to walk down the street/take the bus/work in your garden without getting harassed, and when you are harassed, you need to be quiet about it. And to that I say: Hell no.

    I don't know whether or not it really does happen less to older women, but that wouldn't really diminish my concern anyway: I remain concerned about child abuse and pedophilia, for example, even though technically I'm too old to be a victim of either.


 
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