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  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    down by the bay
    Posts
    767
    Dear craftistas,

    Wish me luck surviving the V.P.'s commencement speech tomorrow at my kid cousin's graduation.

    Dear cousin,

    Please don't look up to him.

  2. # ADS

  3. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Cleveland, OH
    Posts
    379
    Dear Lady I Work With,
    Congratulations, you're pregnant. I'm very happy for you and your fiance. But would it be possible to not steer every single conversation towards things we've already talked about five or six times? I'm aware she's a brat. I'm aware she has a closet full of clothes and she hasn't been born. I'm aware she's underweight, I'm aware you're not supposed to do sittings where you have to get down and up a lot, I'm aware things aren't good with your future mother-in-law, I'm aware your niece is the cutest ever, I'M AWARE. I GOT IT.
    Also, please stop putting me down in front of other people. I don't care if you're a "manager", I'm a human being. You're barely older than I am, get the fuck off your high horse.

    Dear Beef's Mom,
    Hi. You're a really nice lady, I like you lots. But please don't bring up marriage. Please, don't. I know you had him AND got married when you were 17, but we haven't even been dating for a full year. I'm only 19, he's only 19, just let us be. And iffinwhen we're ready, we'll let you know. Telling me that I'll be in charge of getting him a birthday cake "when [we're] married" makes me uncomfortable, as I don't like being rushed into things, or even thinking about them. kthnx.

  4. #13
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    75
    Dear Me,

    STOP WORRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!! Your special guy loves you and isn't going to leave you. You're not as fat as you seem to think you are, most people would like to lose 10 pounds, just be thankful that you're healthy. Your friends miss you as much as you miss them, and so does your family. Things will get better soon.

    Love,
    Me

  5. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    atlanta ga
    Posts
    433
    Dear Jellyfish: (see my blog for in depth explanation)

    when we met, i thought you were fab. you thought outside of the box, had a brain and were creative. you didn't seem to care that i was dating a girl. you were cool and you taught me how to knit, and you took me out to lunch for my birthday, even though we had only known each other for less than a month.

    you saw me throught the insane breakup with ms. x. you saw i needed help and pushed me in the right direction. for all of these things, i am forever grateful. I was in crisis mode, and you were there to guide me. i had no money and you would pay for my lunch. you were *AWESOME*

    now, i am feeling better. i found a great new job. things between me and ms x have evened out. i am doing okay.
    i have talked to you several times about how you deal with me when we are around other people. you explained how protective of me you are. i told you not to be protective, just be my friend.

    so now, you are just pissing me off. i am tired of being controlled and manipulated by other people, and this is starting to include you. you are a control freak. i hate that about you. not only that, you are codependent, still, whether you want to admit it or not, and you should probably start going to the CODA meetings again.

    i am glad that you and amy are friends. but we were supposed to come up with a plan together, and instead you sent me an email telling me what was going to take place.

    I am tired of talking to you about how you deal with me, so right now all i really want to say is fuck you, you fat miserable bitch.

    xoxo
    jana

  6. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    347
    Dear Cheap Insurance Company (Suckgna),

    Could you possibly get any cheaper? You don't have to answer that because I know you can. When it took you 5 & 1/2 months to get me a glucometer when I was diagnosed diabetic, I let it slide. Every time I go to get a new presecription filled and I have to call you 87 times to get it approved, I let it slide too. I'm done with you this time. In October when I get to pick a new insurance company you are gone. My doctor has informed me that she never has a problem with other insurance company about this medicine. My Mom who has a different insurance had no problem getting it filled. Damn I'm glad I didn't apply for the job at your call center! I wouldn't be able to take all of the people yelling at me because I'm the 8th person they've been transfered to and the 27th time they've called.

    Love,
    the person who will no longer be paying you tons of money to jerk around

    Dear Old Navy Online,
    Why do you require a signature? I'm not home to sign and asked the UPS man to leave (like he does with my other packages), but you won't let him do that. I'm not going to drive all the way across town to go to the UPS office to pick up my package when there is an Old Navy store 5 miles from my house. I shopped online for the convience and driving 20 miles out of my way is not convienint. I know that you are now claiming not to have any record of my order, but Visa does. Just give me a refund and let's be done with this.

    Love,
    No longer an Old Navy shopper

  7. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    atlanta ga
    Posts
    433
    PS:

    Dear jellyfish,

    you might want to refrain fromposting pictures of yourself on your blog because they neither compliment you or show your better side.

    love, me

  8. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    287
    Dear hairdressers:
    Okay, I know that suburban Cleveland isn't exactly a fashion hot spot or anything, but what is with all of you trying to make me look like a middle-aged, midwestern housewife? I'm 19 and I would really appreciate it if you at least tried to make me look that way.
    Argh, I don't have bad hair days; I have a bad hair life.

  9. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    108
    Dear "SoSueMe": why the hell do you have to jump all over my case every time I write? You aren't an authority and I really don't care that you've read a gazillion more books than me this year. You are insensitive and rude and you should grow the hell up!

    Dear cousin: Lying about me, stabbing me in the back, and making fun of me for the one talent I have and the one passion I have in life will not make me be friends with you. I'm truly sorry we were never close friends even though we both seemed to want that, but really, I have nothing in common with you and I always felt like you were making fun of me. It wasn't a personal insult to you that another cousin of ours ended up being one of my two best friends in the world and you didn't. And after all, you have your best friend who is also now your sister-in-law and the mom of your nephew, so it's not like you are friendless or anything.

    Dear Murphy's Law: How did I get such bad karma that you are always crapping on me? Can't I ever get what I want out of life? Weren't Crohn's disease, growing up in poverty, and child abuse enough?

  10. #19
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    60
    Dear Suburban School Districts,
    Why haven't you called? I'm a great teacher, even though I may be Alternatively certified. Does that make me worse than the airheads you already have on staff teaching Kindergarten? Do they really think that the bio part of the school webpage is the same as MySpace? You might want to tell them that the bio on the school website is for subjects such as "Why I Became a Teacher" or "My Education Philosophy" because parents do not give a crap if their child's teacher likes to "hang out with friends or watch movies". Everyone likes to hang out with friends or watch movies. So, School Districts, pick up the phone, open Outlook, and give me a chance. In MY spare time, I like to find new children's books, I like to babysit my niece and nephew and I also like to read about child development.
    Love,
    Miepshell

    My Dear Husband,
    Please, please, please say we can have a baby soon. I really, really, really don't want to wait until I'm 30.
    Love,
    Your Wife

  11. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    161
    dear Spammers:

    please stop posting your ads for rolexes and prescription meds and whatnot on this site. i can't imagine that anyone here is really falling for it, and your posts will just end up being deleted anyway. all you're doing is cluttering up our boards. cut it out already!


 
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