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  1. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    456
    Dear sickness -
    I don't know what you are or what you want but I'd like you to leave my body now. It's been 6 days already. My head hurts from the neck up to the top because of the insane coughing. I can't possibly drink enough to compensate for the sweating. My kids don't care whether or not I feel like getting off the couch. I better have at least lost like 10 pounds this week.

    Sjkmaurice

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  3. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    893
    dear Spammers:

    please stop posting your ads for rolexes and prescription meds and whatnot on this site. i can't imagine that anyone here is really falling for it, and your posts will just end up being deleted anyway. all you're doing is cluttering up our boards. cut it out already!

    Ha ha ha!!! I was going to post the exact same thing. Great minds, eh?!

  4. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    232
    Dear Kid's Piano teacher:

    You are lovely. You work well the kids, you are amazingly patient with my six year old, and tolerate my occasional flakiness with a smile.

    But why oh why did you have to decide to do a recital in September? That timing means I have to keep piano lessons up all summer, and frankly, it's just too damn hot to drive all the fricken' way across town in my non-air conditioned car.

    Me

  5. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    atlanta ga
    Posts
    433
    dear little black foster kitten (aka e.t., little one, little bit)

    i am sorry that i didn't put you in the bathroom when i left on saturday. i thought you would be okay. maybe you would have gone to kitty heaven anyway. i miss you and so do maisie and ghost, they meow for you a LOT. i know that you weren't going to live that long because of your heart murmur, but everyday i was full of hope that you would start to develop normally.

    love,
    mommajana

  6. #25
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    knoxville, tn
    Posts
    39
    Dear Crazy Bitch in Apartment 3-

    I understand that you love your music, I really do. But when you insist on sharing that music with everyone else in the building, it's just rude. You introduced yourself by acknowledging that your music is, and I quote, "invasive" and claimed you would keep it down. Yet you only crank it up when you hear the creak of my front door upon my return or as soon as you get up in the morning. Obviously you had no intention to keep your music at a decibal level below ear-bleed. Not to mention how annoying it is to hear you play the same song three, four, sometimes five times in a fucking row! The fact that my walls rattle and my windows vibrate from the thump of your crappy dance music is maddening and, I should mention, a battle you will not win. So for you, my dear, I have selected Grimple's greatest hits. My stereo is much louder. Let's see how much you like punk, I have enough to last for days. Don't make me pull out my Ovo album.

    Love-
    --new in apartment 2--

  7. #26
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    Posts
    73
    Dear best friend / roomate:

    I'm sorry I hooked up with the boy that you had a crush on. I'm sorry that the first boy that I hooked up with since my break up with Josh 7 months ago had to be the English chef that you had a crush on. I didn't know that it would bother you so much, especially since YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Said boyfriend is someone who you're in love with, and who you weren't planning on breaking up with, even for a british dude who makes truffles and talks about his cats way too much.

    I've just stepped out of the worst depression of my life, and I meet someone who makes me feel good about myself. We're not gonna get married, I'm not going to retreat to boyfriend island and leave you alone with only your animals to keep you company. We're dating. We have fun. Why can't you be happy for me instead of being a jealous bitch? Your passive aggressive behavior isn't going to help anything, because the chef and I aren't going to break up because of you. If stuff doesn't work between us, that's fine. But we can't let someone else dictate whether or not we should be together.

    That being said, I fucking love you.

    love,
    jes.

    -----------------------------------------------
    Dear ex-boyfriend,

    There are ways to deal with break-ups that don't make the other person feel like shit. You obviously haven't learned of these ways. I know you care about me, but sometimes it helps to be shown.

    love,
    jes.

    -----------------------------------------------
    Dear Philadelphia:

    Why do you hate bikers? Why do insist on not fixing the gaping potholes on 5th street?

    love,
    rattled biker

  8. #27
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    brooklyn
    Posts
    600
    dear fiance,

    please get well. this past month has been so difficult... i miss smiling with you.

    -- eli

  9. #28
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Missouri, The Show Me State
    Posts
    179
    Dear Myself,

    I am proud of you for getting up at 10 PM off your computer chair and taking that 1 mile walk. You have been feeling crappy about talking the talk about people making thier own fate and not (haha) walking the walk. You have been excercising all week and it would have been oh-so-easy to justify taking a day off.You took your health into your own hands today. Keep up the good work!

    -Me

    PS Dear Fashion Mag Covers , Kiss my flabby but getting more toned ass-A

  10. #29
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    brooklyn
    Posts
    600
    HIGH FIVE to April Again!!!!

  11. #30
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    232
    Dear baby brother: Please don't be a jerk this weekend when I come to visit the family.


 
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