An open letter to...

[andi.devine]

Dear Mom,

You drive me bonkers half the time, and I can only relate to you on the most superficial matters. You are so driven by what others think of you, and I just can't relate. We're very different people, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we're not blood-related, though you've been my only mama since I was one, but I see you with your blood daughter and am jealous of how well you get along and how much you have in common. I mean, you both make me crazy and are totally unlike me in almost every way, but I'm jealous that she can be close with you. That being said, thank you so much for loving me. And loving my sister, who is a nut like you, and my brother, who is a nut like his biological father. You have a deep and real love for your family that makes up for your flakey love of society and being cool. Thank you for helping me on the rare occasions that I need it, and not trying to pull some terrible guilt thing like I see other mothers doing. We'll never be best friends, but I really do love you.

Love,
Me

[Craft Forums]

[sarabell]

(my friend blogged this so it's a copy of a copy of a copy.....)

Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
that includes Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, New York, and all of the Northeastern
states. After this election, we'll be adding Colorado and New Mexico.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, especially to
the people of our new country - Nuevo California .


To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states;
we get stem cell research, the best beaches, and the best ski resorts.

We get Elliot Spitzer; you get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty;
you get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft; you get WorldCom. We
get Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Cal Tech, MIT and Columbia;
you get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's ve nture capital and
entrepreneurs; you get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue;
you get to make the red states pay their fair share.


Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than that of the
Christian Coalition, we get a bunch of happy families and you get a
bunch of under-educated single moms.


Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
and we'll need all of our citizens back from Iraq at once.


If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They apparently
have kids they're willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and
they don't mind if you don't televise their kid's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq and hope that those Weapons of Mass
Destruction turn up for you, but we're not willing to spend any more
of our money in Bush's Quagmire.


With the Blue States, we will control 80 percent of the country's
fresh water, 90 percent of pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the
nation's fresh fruit, 97 percent of America's quality wines (you can
serve French wines at your state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese,
90 percent of the high tech indu stry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur
coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, and all the Ivy
League and Seven Sister schools.

We also get New England, the Great Lakes and Yosemite, thank you very much.


In the Red States, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese
Americans and their projected health care costs, 92 percent of all
U.S. mosquitoes, 100 percent of tornadoes, 94 percent of hurricanes,
99 percent of Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, and Clemson.


Additionally, in the Red States, 38 percent actually believe Jonah was
swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless it
involves the death penalty or gun ownership; 44 percent claim that
evolution is only a theory; 53 percent insist that Saddam Hussein was
involved in 9/11; and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you
have higher moral standards than those of us on the left.

By the way, we're taking all the good pot, too. You get that dirt
weed from Mexico and Kansas ditches.

[sarabell]

Dear Person in the UK who got a hold of my credit card number,

My credit card has since been canceled, but hope you got your jollies off with that hohoho at that escort service in London! It was a hassle-free issue for me, so Merry Christmas!

Cheers.

p.s. please stop stealing people's credit card numbers.

[Izabelle]

Dear family and coworkers,

Just because I got married 3 years ago does not make it okay to ask me at each and every turn when I am going to get pregnant. Has it ever occured to you that when a lady is not, there may be a reason, be it not wanting, infertility, trying but "it" not working or, in my case, other health issues that would make it plainly unwise (if not downright cruel) to give conception a try?

The obvious truth is, I am not pregnant. If I am not close enough to you to have confided why and my (frequent) visits to 3 different doctors have not yet clued you in, it means that maybe this is a sore subject. Buzz off.

---------

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know you mean well, but since I moved into my house your visits have become less and less enjoyable. As I have made clear to you, I do not want the dorm look, which I have endured through the past decade of appartments, to carry on through the place which I now own. This means that your old towels and mismatched furniture (unrequested!) are not seen as gifts but rater as clutter that prevents my new home from looking put together. Please stop acting hurt when all I want is some control over my own space.

Furthermore, my husband and I feel demeaned when instead of enjoying our company, you complain about everything in our house that is not to your standards. I know you see it as "pointing out" rather than complaining, but I assure you that arguing with me about every little choice or difference does amount to complaining. Please keep in mind that our needs are not yours; the only way that we could have a house that perfectly suits your needs and still be happy in it, is if we were you and not us.

I trust that you will come to see that we would like to enjoy your company, not your condescendence and patronizing (or at least less of it).

Love,

Iz

[h_pets360]

An open letter to the site regulators:


WHERE ARE YOU? there are a bunch of crazy posts that don't belong, and some of them drop the "f" bomb in the subject even. I don't want to see getcrafty atrophy, and I for sure don't want to see people driven away by unregulated spam.


XOXO,
steph

[sarabell]

i'm here. not so often lately. didn't think anyone but people leaving spam in the post screening was around anymore. been crazy busy and just don't check so often because it's usually just porn and buy cialis online in the post screening.

so i deleted the spam posts but who's say there won't be 30 more in the a.m. because i can't ban users once they're approved. there's only one mod and admin that can. i made a list of the names. that's the best i can do other than trying to get on and delete anything a little more vigilantly. i'll do what i can.

[briannajill]

Dear Joe, (my ex-boyfriend)

Please make up your mind about what you want from me. I am confused.

Dear Jamie, (my "best" friend)

Please quit judging me.