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Thread: An old friend

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    An old friend

    I have a question, How would you go about telling your old friend that you don't want to talk to them anymore. I have this friend that I've known since elementry school. We use to argue on and off our friendship during the years.

    Then around 2003 we become best friends, but it didn't last. So we grew apart and lately I've been geeting her emails but I don't want to become friends all over again...it's kinda like we've grown apart (and plus her relegion is something I don't want to deal with.) She is now telling me that she is a "Wican". I'm not trying to be mean, it's just I don't really have too much to say to her anymore so we just kinda sit on the phone and she ask me all kinds of question about my life but when I ask her things she tells little or nothing.

    So how would I tell her that I don't want to be her friend anymore..?

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  3. #2
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    im sorta non-confrontational so i just avoid people if talking to them gets drama-y.

  4. #3
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    These days with caller ID and cell phones, life's too short to answer the phone if it's someone you don't enjoy talking to!!!

  5. #4
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    just don't reply to emails. Don't answer phone calls. If she does actually get in touch with you, tell her your life is really busy right now & you don't have time for her anymore. then leave or hang up- no long explanations

  6. #5
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    I disagree with the non-confrontational approach. I had a friend do this to me (the fade out) and it left me with an awful lack of closure and wondering what I'd done wrong. I've probably cooked up much worse scenarios in my head than what was actually the truth which is probably something similar to how you are feeling (growing apart, etc).

    I'm not sure *how* to do this tactfully or if there is even a way but I would try to express to her that she hasn't necessarily done anything "wrong" but you feel that you are in completely different places in your life and have grown apart.

    I know this would have hurt if my friend had been direct with me but it would have also been easier in the long run. I could go on with my life and not worry about her or think I had greatly offended her.

  7. #6
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    I don't know. I "broke up" with my high school best friend like this. We were growing apart and it got to where I was getting hurt because she wasn't in my life the way I needed her to be. So I kind of confronted her saying I needed us to admit that we had grown apart and stop trying to be best friends. There was more to it (although 8 years later, I'm not sure I can remember it all)

    The aftermath was weird. I don't think there was/is a good way to do it.

    If she is someone who is a negative presence in your life - you need to have more of a clean break. If she is just someone that you used to be close with, declining plans and screening calls may work itself out to where you talk less frequently and ultimately you just exchange winter solstice cards or something.

  8. #7
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    I don't think there is a One Size Fits All approach to severing ties. Each case is different and dealt with accordingly.

    Some people do deserve confrontation/explanation. Particularly if there is something worth salvaging from the relationship: person is lots of fun, but monopolizes your time, etc. Used to be best gal pals, but have grown apart or in different phases of life. Occasional lunch or crafty expedition would be nice, but not a huge amount beyond that.


    Other people are best left alone. Permanently. Like, as in Forever. They are toxic and any confrontation is best labeled "Intervention", because that is how it will play out. Run far. Run fast. They will stalk you. If cleansing your soul via confrontation/telling them why is important, be prepared with an exit strategy, a witness, and a public place. Consider changing your numbers just prior to meeting.

    Good luck with this; it's hard.

  9. #8
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    Hah...Thanks guys ! I'll remeber that for next time.


 

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