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  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    why are people all up in my *not married* biz?

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    Last edited by Miss E; 03-14-2019 at 01:14 PM.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2004
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    Stand your ground. And never let anyone say your ideas are stupid.

    I dislike the garter/bouquet toss. I guess that's because I caught one when I was eleven (the bouquet) and have been horrified since...

  4. #3
    Member
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    Jun 2004
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    los angeles
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    Twenty-three? Twenty-three?!! And they're harping on you to get married? Damn. If I'd even mentioned the "M" word at your age, my family would've dragged me in for counselling or something. You're waaaaay to young to be concerned about your "life schedule." What a load of BS.

    You do it your way, on your terms, and the next time an in-law or a parent or a friend's parent starts giving you crap, just tell them straight up that it is not their life, and that only YOU know what's best for you.

  5. #4
    Senior Member
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    Jul 2004
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    New York City
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    Weird. You're 23..?! And they're already telling you to get married? Best time of your life is yet to happen. And as wonderful as marriage is, it can wait.

    I really do find this weird. Late 20s early 30s is the marriage age among my friends and family. I'm 28 and *sort of* feeling the marriage pressure, not much. When I was 23, being married was kind of unusual.. Has times changed..?

    I say stand your ground, enjoy your youth without being tied down. (Ooh, that rhymed..!)

  6. #5
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    New York City
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    Dude, I just posted my reply and both soapandwater and atomic said almost the same thing..!

    Anyway, Miss E - I just noticed you're from SoCal. I have a 22 year-old sister living there and she's off her rocker.. She wants to get married(!!!). Now. The girl is actually *panicking.* Crazy stuff. I've been trying to talk her out of her lunacy but there's no giving in. So now I blame it on Southern California. There's something about that place that makes young girls bonkers. Is it the sun? Is it the media? The malls? The "Orange County" TV show?

  7. #6
    Senior Member
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    I blame it on Southern California. There's something about that place that makes young girls bonkers. Is it the sun? Is it the media? The malls? The "Orange County" TV show?
    LOL! That was the funniest thing ever!

    I think that I am way too young to get married. I guess it's the "new thing" to get married younger. My parents are content with me and R living together! My parents don't want me to get married until I am at least 27 and I agree with them. It's his parents that desperately want us to get married adn have children, which I wouldn't even think about having until I was 30. I want to my life live first.

    I wish everyone would just shut the fork up about how I am going to die a lonely, bitter, old maid.

  8. #7
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2004
    Location
    Kansas
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    189
    If and when you decide to get married do it on your own terms, but be prepared for unhappy relatives and the like. My husband and I had a small, private ceremony for 35 people. We, then, had a big party for all of our family and friends. We did very few traditional things (I didn't even wear a "real" wedding dress) and had a wonderful time. However, my mom did take several phone calls from relatives that were unhappy that they were not invited to the ceremony and that our wedding did not fit the traditional pattern. Follow your own timeline, and create the wedding you want. You and the man you marry will find a way to make it special and right for the two of you. Good luck!

  9. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    347
    Here are some links that will give you some good comebacks:
    http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark...Y-NO-MARRY.HTM
    http://www.previewkorea.com/board-re...bnum=56&page=1

    I usually just brushed off the question by saying we weren't ready yet.

    You could also tell whoever is asking that you've thought about it, but all the married people around you are miserable, so it seemed better to stay single.

    Or you could say that you are waiting for a leap year so you can get married on Feb 29. I think that'll give you 3 extra years of question dodging.

    You can also treat it as an honest question "Why aren't you married yet?" I give up! Why? You could also ask an equally intrusive question, like, "So which do you prefer: oral sex or anal sex?" There is no way I could say that without blushing, but maybe you can?

  10. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    103
    hey hey hey! so cal girl here feeling no pressure to get hitched. and i'm 26.

    my MOM, on the other hand, wants me to drop the idea of going to grad school so i can start popping out children.
    my boyfriend and i have been dating three months. she hasn't even met him.

    yes, i find it annoying too. i would rather stay single for the rest of my life than marry for the wrong reasons. but who knows? maybe i just have skewed priorities or something. </ sarcasm>

    edited to add: get married the way you want to. they don't like it? they don't have to go. she can throw herself a big garter/bouquet party.

    jangrl

  11. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Smalltimore
    Posts
    71
    I guess I'm in a different boat, with a similar conundrum, as in "How do you respond to this?".

    See, by bf and I have been together close to three years, living together for one, and everywhere we go, people assume we are married. And my bf lets them think it! In the last two months, we've been to a wedding and three parties, and each time, we were asked at least twice "So, are you two married?" or to my bf "So, this is your wife?" And even if we are asked directly, and it's not just assumed, bf just shrugs his shoulders or nods, indicating that their assumptions are correct!

    I've had to explain to him a few times that although I want to be married to him, he's skipping a large step here, and one that I am actually looking forward to with a great deal of anticipation, so he can't just go from boyfriend to husband without doing a little work in between.


 
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