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Thread: gay friend

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    1

    gay friend

    I just discovered, unbeknownst to him, that my best male friend is gay. I am in love with him. We have been together (yet not formally dating) for 4 years. We have not kissed nor engaged in sex.

    I have always suspected him of being gay - he has denied it over and over when I prod.

    I think he is suffering from depression and I don''t know what to do.

    I feel so alone and confused. I want to help him - but I need to move on with my life. I have loved him for so long and I dont know if I can deal with this anymore. We are graduating from college - I have to settle this somehow for myself.

    Can someone please tell me what to do/ where to go from here.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    676
    If he is gay and you are a girl, you are just going to have to move on wrt having a BF/GF relationship.
    Just be his friend, if you can't then move on.
    Don't mean harsh on your mellow, but if he is depressed and hiding that he is gay from you, your being in love with him ain't gonna help and you aren't going to change him so don't try to convince yourself that you will.

  4. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    31
    He may not be ready to admit it to himself yet, if he isn't ready to admit it to you. If you have been friends for 4 years, and have been in love with him for that long and it hasn't been reciprocated (other than in friendship), then you need to move on and maybe broaden your horizons and date other people (if you haven't been). It might help you move on from him to meet others.

    He'll tell you when he is ready, otherwise, don't push him on it...just be his friend!

  5. #4
    Member
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    Aug 2007
    Location
    In the lovely Delaware valley
    Posts
    36
    I would suggest: be his friend and find someone else to date. Best wishes--it's difficult, I'm sure.


 

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