Posted by Sewlittletime on 2005-12-04 08:04:12
Post Subject:
Oh yeah...keeping the little ones occupied is a challenge! My younger son (almost 4) goes to pre school 3 mornings/week. And both my boys are good at keeping themselves occupied. Although yesterday while I was taking a nap, apparently my husband took a mini snooze too. Woke to find the small boy with his legs and face decorated in marker!
Anyway, when my younger son is home, I need to keep him out of my older son's hair while he does his school work (he's home schooled). So...he loves to help me put clothes in the washer and dryer, or do simple kitchen tasks, like wash the potatoes for dinner. Otherwise, he can be found drawing monsters or practising his letters, play doh, water play (w/ lots of old towels on the bathroom floor!), coloring, "reading" books. The part I love most is to listen in while he creates little scenarios with his various toys, and the diologue he makes up for them.
Hmmmm...he likes to do dot-to-dot pictures, but he gets kind of lost after 19! Makes for some funky lookin' pictures!
Glue and various supplies like buttons, large sequins, feathers, squares of colored tissue paper, yarn and fabric scraps, pom-poms, pictures from magazines, etc. are always good for some wild collages.
Ahhh...but my kids are 7 years apart, so i never had to deal with quite the same challenge as you do trying to balance the attention b/t 2 young children. By the time #2 came along, his big bro was able to fix his own simple snacks and help me with stuff.
When your baby is old enough to support his/her body upright, you can put him/her in a backpack-style carrier while you do household chores with your older child helping you. both my boys LOVED being able to look over my shoulder while I did dishes, vacuuming, laundry, etc. and the older one liked to help. It made all those tedious chores more fun.
Posted by brdgt on 2007-07-02 08:30:06
Post Subject: What did you read in June 2007?
Non-Fiction:
Taking on the Big Boys: Why Feminism is Good for Families, Business and the Nation by Ellen Bravo - While Bravo does resort to a "boogeyman" argument (a vague notion of who these "big boys" are) she does an excellent job showing how businesses attempt to maintain the status quo (using arguments that pit groups with common interests against each other, making outlandish claims about the possibility of enacting equitable policies, and belittling problems). She then offers evidence to the contrary with real examples, followed by solutions that have actually worked. She covers everything from sexual harassment to household chores with a great sense of humor and respect for all kinds of work.
Survival of the Sickest: A Medical Maverick Discovers Why We Need Disease by Dr. Sharon Moalem with Jonathan Prince - I liked about 50% of this book; when Moalem kept to his descriptions of diseases and how they may have developed for evolutionary purposes he is engaging and trustworthy, but he starts to speculate too widely, playing fast and loose with science and ignoring timelines and societal factors he becomes so untrustworthy that you question the other stuff. First of all, he argues for the evolutionary origin of some things that are only a few hundred years old. Then he puts forth radical theories without presenting critiques of them (such as a theory that we should let cholera run rampant so that its virulence decreases - yeah, because that worked for centuries beforehand?). He also ignored clearly relevant information, such as supporting an argument that early humans were actually aquatic by noting that women who have water births supposedly don't feel as much pain because they don't use epidurals as much as other women (totally ignoring the type of woman who is likely to choose a water birth and the choice of whether to have an epidural is not always about the amount of pain).
Comics:
100 Bullets Vol. 3: Hang Up on the Hang Low by Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso - Adding a bit more information to overarching storyline and dishing up an interesting ending. The artwork was also much better in this volume than the first two.
Posted by Sewlittletime on 2005-07-25 20:46:48
Post Subject:
I wish my parents...or someone had taken the time to teach me how to manage my finances better.
But...they DID teach me how to work as a team. It has taken me years to get my husband to take the team approach as opposed to my doing EVERYTHING just because I'm a SAHM. He still needs a lot of work. : P
But at least I can get him to work with me in the garden now. I'm still working on him with household chores!
Anyway....my parents worked together to get things done, from household cleaning to painting the house, to gardening. Whatever needed doing.
They both also taught me to be a pretty competant do-it-yourselfer. I do just about any kind of household repair. I keep the plumbing and electrical to the pros, though!
Posted by brdgt on 2005-02-07 14:24:28
Post Subject:
Hmmm, my first apartment (and it was also with my boyfriend, and another friend)...
You both need your space, neutral areas that you can go to get away from the other person. In a small apartment that may not be possible, so try to find a local spot, like a coffeeshop or library that is all yours.
Is this his first apartment? While I like to think men are getting better do not be surprised if he has no idea how to do basic household chores like laundry or cooking. Even if he is good about these things it is really good to make a division of chores so that one person doesn't feel like they are doing too much. Try to match your schedules and interests - like if you are home more it might be easier for you to do the laundry, or if he likes to cook, then you can do the dishes. Some things, no one likes to do and you just have to split them up fairly.
I've moved five times in my life and every time it takes me longer and longer to really move in. Don't feel like you have to rush to buy everything that you think everyone else has. Once you are actually living in the place you can more easily see what your needs are.
Try to split the bills so that you each have at least one in your name so that you can establish credit.
Get a cookbook, living on your own is expensive, you can't eat out very much and still be able to afford rent.
When you do need stuff like chairs or kitchen supplies check out used furniture stores and thrift stores. Honestly - I'm 28 now and I think the only thing in my apartment now that I had in my first apartment is a bookcase (that I hate, but I need it for my books).
Posted by DJules on 2005-07-15 10:28:05
Post Subject:
If you are planning on eventually moving in together, I would definitely talk about this before it happens.
One thing to talk about is what the expectations were when you were both growing up. My husband and I struggle with this because while neither of us thinks we should fall in line with gender roles, we also grew up in very traditional households as far as gender roles were concerned, and tend to fall into them without really thinking about it - even though in theory we both want a fair division of household chores.
And doing things like helping with the dishes is just being a good guest - especially if you are a regular guest. Maybe talk about it before it happens, before he ever comes over - maybe that will help you stay calm.
Posted by brdgt on 2005-07-15 12:25:21
Post Subject:
May be I'm too concerned about this and should try to talk about it with naturality. Its a big deal for me since in my parents home my mom always did everything and I felt angry for my dad not helping and always thought that wouldn't happen to me...
Tell him all of that! I think it will help for him to know that it's not "just" that you want him to pick up after himself because it's your home and that's how you run it, but because chores have meaning beyond cleanliness to you.
Always err on the side of stating what you think is the obvious when it comes to household chores - it goes both ways. I always forget to empty the hair trap in the shower so my husband reminds me, he always forgets to rinse out cans when he is done, so I remind him. We just state the obvious right away so that one of us doesn't sit there simmering about why the other one can't remember to do a simple thing until we blow up and make a big deal out of something that doesn't have to be.
Posted by illybang on 2005-08-05 11:04:00
Post Subject:
Johnny Depp but only in Pirates of the Carribean mode.
AND CRYBABY!!!!!
dane cook! for being so hilarious. i have watched his DVD 7 times and i still cry laughing
christian bale for being perfectly beautiful
bruce willis for being plain out gorgeous and taking this thing with demi and ashton so well
*not famous, but... my new boy for bringing me flowers, doing A LOT of household chores in exchange for me cooking dinner, surprising me with gifts that aren't necessarily expensive but he knows it's something i'll adore, and for agreeing that if it were possible for the man to be pregnant he would carry my child (haha)
Posted by artgeek on 2006-10-28 08:34:43
Post Subject:
I haven't posted to this thread yet because I didn't feel I had anything original to contribute, just random cheerleading of everything that had been said. Now I've settled down at my computer with coffee and bread, deleted some spam from the forums, and was excited to share my thoughts...and anthrogirl has gone and read my mind.
I was looking through some old family/community cookbooks last night and thought how useful and fun it might be to have a craftista's version. Particularly the community cookbooks didn't just stop at stew and cake recipes, they also included basic info about cooking (eg, what temp is chicken done at), the community they were compiled in and household chores. I thought a craftista spin on all those things, plus info about simple crafts to enliven your home and yourself (as well as take some stress out of giftgiving) would be such a gift to a new homeowner (a target audience I think of a lot due to my experience with Habitat for Humanity) or just anyone trying to put they're life together or make do with very little.
They don't have to be big, glossy affairs either. While I <3 a beautiful craft book as much as the next lady, the cookbooks I'm referencing have a simple cardstock cover and either plastic or metal binding (though, personally, I kind of like the idea of a 3-ring binder where all the entries have holes in them, so people can choose to move the stuff most relevant to them toward the front). They're usually only printed in one or two colors, but if you look at the layout of getcrafty (which I always thought was pretty spiffy), you'll realize a lot of pretty can be managed with a limited palette.
Anyway, sorry to rehash your post, anthrogirl, but I thought I'd share how I came to the idea, too. :)
Posted by anthrogirl on 2006-10-30 13:39:07
Post Subject:
I was looking through some old family/community cookbooks last night and thought how useful and fun it might be to have a craftista's version. Particularly the community cookbooks didn't just stop at stew and cake recipes, they also included basic info about cooking (eg, what temp is chicken done at), the community they were compiled in and household chores. I thought a craftista spin on all those things, plus info about simple crafts to enliven your home and yourself (as well as take some stress out of giftgiving) would be such a gift to a new homeowner (a target audience I think of a lot due to my experience with Habitat for Humanity) or just anyone trying to put they're life together or make do with very little.
We must be channelling each other! Even though I've never volunteered for Habitat for Humanity (you rock, by the way), I was thinking the same thing, because my students are college aged and many of them don't know how to cook or run a household.
It might be fun to pair a craft or two with recipes, info on how to shop for good cheap food, how to run a kitchen, how to do simple cleaning. Like a simple crochet project on how to make potholders with how to make a chicken with gravy, along with how to set the table for company (I've found a lot of people don't know how to do that anymore, since so many people eat fast food). And then maybe every person participating can mention where he or she lives, his or her favorite craft, favorite charity, and the best craft stores in his or her area.
How does that all sound? If we mention stores, it's more likely that those places will stock the book. And since I know a few of you have connections with book publishing, we may even be able to get distribution. But keeping the price down would be key, because it would be nice to have the kind of book that would be cheap enough for groups like Habitat to buy and give away with new homes or apartments. what do people think?
Posted by DJules on 2005-07-18 10:46:22
Post Subject:
-Credit Card Debt sucks! Learn how to use credit cards wisely. (Notice I didn't say a blanket 'don't use them' I really wish somebody would have discussed how to handle them well with me, rather than just telling me to not get them.
-Don't file people under labels so you can dismiss them as somebody you won't like. I've met a lot of conservative/very religous/strict school-at-home moms at our homeschool group, and although our "labels" may clash, we can connect and get along when we're talking about our kids. Make the effort to get to know people as individuals.
-Take care of yourself. It is hard to take care of anyone else if you are running on empty. This is especially important if you have kids.
-Spend time outside every day.
-Spend time with teenagers. The teenagers I've gotten to know in the past couple of years make me very hopeful for the future - they are such neat people! And it's energizing to spend time with them. Too many people dismiss teenagers as rotten.
-Don't preset requirements for the people you 'can' be friends with. (This kind of goes with the label comment above) You don't have to have friends that are the same age as you, or do/don't have kids, etc....
When I first had kids, I felt like I had to find other women who were moms to be friends with. I was much happier when I just found some friends to have fun with!
And one more I almost forgot:
Discuss the division of household chores before you move in with somebody or get married! (Including a discussion of what the expectations were in you home when you were growing up) A fair division of household chores does not, I repeat, not, happen magically.
Posted by appleseeds on 2006-02-27 08:28:03
Post Subject:
This helps me....A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN IT'S PLACE.
Another thing that helps me, is cleaning as I go so, that I don't feel like I've wasted time cleaning...does that make sense? And with the dishes, if for some horrid reason they were left overnight, I do them as the coffee brews....this is something that a few of my friends have picked up on and they tell me it really works for them.
One more thing that helps is to pretend that tons of people who you would not want to see any mess or clutter in your home is coming over to stay! I do this and I clean like there's no tomorrow. ....I come from a Southern family and it's typical for Southern families to clean once a week...my bf can't believe it when I tell him that my Granny used to move all the furniture once a week (except for the china cabinet) to vacuum!! It's true. And one of my chores growing up was to wax/dust all the wood furniture. I also HAD to make my bed everyday and nothing was allowed to pile up...if something did pile up during the week, you better bet your hiney I was cleaning it/organizing it etc on Saturday!
Growing up I hated it all...I loathed my mom for making me do such evil things but, now as an adult (ahha) I appreciate it to no end. I couldn't be happier to know that I'm a great housekeeper, cook, seamstress, gardener and more because I was taught how to be all of that by the women in my family. There's a lot to be said about teaching your kids to make their own bed and simple household chores and tasks.....maybe they'll choose to be a slob when they are older and that's fine but, atleast it will then be a choice. I have so many friends that don't know how to keep a house and all I can think in horror is...your mom didn't teach you how? I really enjoy sharing household keeping stuff with my friends.
Posted by Katrin on 2004-12-14 13:53:32
Post Subject:
how do we get the Better Message across?
This should be a topic header by itself.
The first thing that comes to my mind is that "women's work" must be de-marginalized - and that will be very, very difficult to do. Hard labor like cleaning and cooking, art forms like needlework and clothing production, and where do we begin to describe raising young human beings - these are still seen as "little housewife" (oh, that makes me seethe) activities because they're still portrayed as unimportant tasks done by inferior people.
The focus for so long has been on women's being able to do "anything they want". It's inherent in the term feminism - not that I dislike the word, but it certainly does leave out half of the world. A woman can be an CEO and do "important" high-paying corporate work, leaving her free to pay someone else (an inferior person, obviously) to keep her house and take care of her kids. Or she can choose to be "just a homemaker" (voluntarily being inferior, 'cause it's all about women's choices, right?).
The only way I can see this vicious cycle being stopped is to start including men. To expect of them the same responsibilities and the same opportunities as women, just as we expect for ourselves. To stop thinking and talking about homemaking and crafts as being solely the domain of women. To require both boys and girls to take both home ec and shop. To give sons and daughters the same household chores. To point out (every time it's suggested) that a man taking care of his own children is not "babysitting", and that there's no such thing as "Mr. Mom", because the correct term is "Dad" - even when he's baking a cake and vacuuming the carpet.
When a man comments on our craft projects, our response every time should be, "Would you like me to teach you?" - and mean it sincerely. Let them know we're not joking. Make them (and us) consciously aware that these are skills that require training and practice and that serve a useful purpose - though they're often enjoyable work, they're not frivolous little pastimes.
And if a man comments on our changing a tire, we should offer to teach him how to do that too.
