should i have bought it? the shopping dilemma

sun bear · Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 443

I was shopping yesterday and I saw some nice coach purses, they weren't a STEAL but they were in the 140 range instead of the 200-300 range. I didn't get one b/c the one I liked the best was close to my only coach purse (big and brown) although it would probably fit a laptop (it was a messenger bag) and then I had second thoughts about spending so much money on a purse (the other one was a gift that my mom and i picked out together and it was only 80)...it's probably a good thing I didn't spend that much $ on a purse, but then I'm looking at my dirty faded fabric purse and wanting a nice new swanky purse...sigh, looking at the other purses in marshalls didn't make me want any purses at all...why do I think it's a bargain if it wasn't something i was looking for in the first place? i.e. I'd never pay 300 dollars for a purse, so to spend 140 would be ridiculous, but now I'm wanting a nice purse. Oh well, I guess my 13.95 gap special will have to limp on for a while longer...

do you have this shopping dilemma?
jt

Martita · Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 30

heathertea · Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 18 Location: bay area, CA

I do this all the time. I find something someplace that I wasn't even looking for (like shoes- I do not need ANY shoes for ANY occasion, I seriously have enough for anything) but I always find another pair and I just cannot possibly imagine my life withOUT them. It is hard to pass up.

Athos · Joined: 14 Apr 2004 Posts: 446 Location: San Francisco

i understand - the cheap stuff is too cheap and the pricey stuff too pricey. i also would have a hard time spending that much on a purse. there is a compromise though, i actually keep a list of all the things i want to buy. each paycheck i either get one (if it's little, like a new lipgloss) or save for it if it's big (like new prescription glasses). i honestly find that by the time i have saved enough for some of the big stuff (like expensive clothes, etc) i don't want it anymore, realize it's not worth the money, or have found a thrifted alternative that i like better.

it's also hard when your friends are just going for it and buying the expensive stuff. like when they all get matching coach purses and you are sitting there thinking "it's not worth it, i can't afford it, i want to be unique" but you still want to be part of the club.

amanelle · Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 347 Location: NC

Lately I've taken the view of a friend of mine. Something is usually $100, it's on sale for $75, I'd say, "Wow I saved $25 dollars", then he'd say "No, you saved negative $75".

sun bear · Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 443

I guess I'm better off w/o the purse, sniff...:-P

If I had a laptop to bring from work i would have been all over that messenger bag, then again it was on clearance, maybe it'll get marked down again...

I guess I should be happy I did buy 4 frames, 5 dollars, 4 dollars, 4 dollars and 2 dollars and now I have the cutest photo of my b/f and dog at my desk and all I needed to do was crayon the edges a bit.

I suppose the 2 dollar purchase was a way better deal :)

jt

Athos · Joined: 14 Apr 2004 Posts: 446 Location: San Francisco

amanelle - my dad was like that. he'd always say "where is the $25 you saved? put it on the table, i'd like to see it."

i'd get so upset when he did that, but now i realize he was trying to tell me that i was looking at spending the wrong way. of course, i wish he had just gotten me suze orman books instead of yelling, because then it took me until i was about 26 to really understand about money. (and as a side note, i'll confess something personal which i never do online anymore! when i started to make solid financial deciscions, two weeks later my therapist said i didn't need to see her anymore. she said when her clients start taking care of their money issues, it always meant they were really moving on.)

Armande · Joined: 24 Apr 2004 Posts: 35 Location: The Netherlands

Amen Athos. A Suze Orman book would have been the positive approach.
I was talking to my sister the other day and we had both realized that our upbringing had been rather different from how our brother was raised. We were rather clueless when it came to money. She and I both learnt later in life and from our partners. pfah.

Love your grandma's saying Martita! That is very true.
I learnt to control my spending after I got a divorce, which has been very insightful. So I can now pass up on a good bargain I don't need. I will still buy it if it's just a few bucks. Then it's worth it: being happy for a few euros. But if it's over 50 dollars or so, I will think long and hard if I really need it.
_________________
Witch of many trades: gemstone jewelry, photography and tarotreadings ;-)

Mathias · Joined: 17 May 2004 Posts: 102 Location: Virginia

I have a different kind of shopping issue: BUYER'S REMORSE. I'll buy those cute four pairs of spangly silver earrings, and no sooner than I'm starting my car to head back home, I'm badgering myself with, "Did you really need these earrings?" And I'd be lying if I told you I've never gone back the next day (or even that very evening) to return the suckers. I'm like a shopping bulemic or something. I binge and purge. It's not about the money really--I do consider myself responsible with my finances. I can't really explain it.

On the very rare flip side, though, I have dropped $160 on a skirt without even blinking. I justified this by telling myself that it was made by a local designer and that I'm paying for her hard work and art, etc.

emilyundone · Joined: 17 May 2004 Posts: 6 Location: middle of illinois

Mathias, I'm so glad you posted that. I don't think I could have written a better summary, and that is exactly what I do. There are moments I'll spend tons of money and not even flinch (I bought my first DVD player a couple of weeks ago on Overstock.com and was happy enough that I "saved" $300 by getting a discontinued model)...and then there are times I'll buy a $20 pair of shoes, agonize over it for days, and finally return them. I hate that too, because when they ask for my reason I have to stutter out, "I um...they didn't fit...they were a gift...argh." It's almost easier to lie than to say "I am an impulse shopper laden with regrets!" Haha. I feel better now. : )

sun bear · Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 443

oh I have shopping regret too, when I used to buy beanie babies I'd regret it and hide them rather than take them back...I'm sure that's some sort of sign that I had an addiction...denial or something.

I'm still alive with no purse so it was probably a good decision :)

jt

Athos · Joined: 14 Apr 2004 Posts: 446 Location: San Francisco

sigh. just chiming in with some buyer's remorse... sort of. i just bought a quilt online that i really wanted when i first saw it, and it was $230. i've been looking for a quilt for years. i'll use it every day. and it was on sale for $50. i bought it, though i'm having some regrets. i really try not to accumulate stuff, and here i am, accumulating stuff and torturing myself over it. : (

Mathias · Joined: 17 May 2004 Posts: 102 Location: Virginia

Athos, it's a quilt! And probably a very awesome one! You'll use the hell out of it--it's totally functional! Stop torturing yourself! :)

Athos · Joined: 14 Apr 2004 Posts: 446 Location: San Francisco

oh thanks mathias!

this is the quilt:
http://www.anthropologie.com/shopping/product/d
etailmain.jsp?itemID=1182&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=66&a
mp;iSubCat=98&iProductID=1182

i think i'm going to finish re-organizing/decorating my room, and put the quilt out, and use it as my reminder to keep the room clean and the way i want it.

girlthursday · Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 84 Location: Toronto, Canada

When I need to unwind, I like to walk around the mall alone with a coffee and just "look". Well, last week my girlfriend wanted to come with me and then we ended up shopping. I took everything back today, realizing I didn't need any of it. Those $19.99 "sale" purchases really add up and it felt liberating to return everything!

Anyway, I'm moving to Toronto in 3 weeks and I'm going to be unemployed- the first time in 7 years (since I graduated University) and I feel nervous about how I'm going to survive without having the luxury of spending more freely. I have enough finances saved to live 3 months until I find employment but I'm worried about being tempted to buy pretty things, being around friends who can spend freely.... Does anyone have any advice, or been through the same?